this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2024
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Sometimes, it's backwards (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by 0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works to c/programmer_humor@programming.dev
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[–] superkret@feddit.org 96 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (6 children)

More like:
"IT people when software people talk about their requirements"

No, we won't whitelist your entire program folder in Endpoint Protection.

[–] 0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works 22 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Yep, unrealistic expectations.

Or "you need a 12th gen i7 to run this thing"... the thing is a glorified Avidemux.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 24 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Christ, if you could see the abysmal efficiency of business tier SQL code being churned out in the Lowest Bidder mines overseas...

Using a few terrabytes of memory and a stack of processors as high as my knee so they can recreate Excel in a badly rendered .aspx page built in 2003.

[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

We have a table with literally three columns. One is an id, another a filename and a third a path. Guess which one was picked as the primary key?

Never seen something so stupid in 28 years of computing. Including my studies.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Well, you don't want to waste space by adding the same file path twice

[–] ugo@feddit.it 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

As a dev, I had to fix an O( n! ) algorithm once because the outsourced developer that wrote it had no clue about anything. This algorithm was making database queries. To an on-device database, granted, so no network requests, but jesus christ man. I questioned the sanity of the world that time, and haven’t stopped since.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

Oh yeah, I love people who stick SQL lookups in a For Loop. Even better, the coder who puts conditional if (but no then/else) clauses around a dozen raw text execution commands that fire in sequence. So you're making six distinct lookups per iteration rather than answering your question in a single query and referencing the results from memory.

Internal screaming

[–] el_abuelo@programming.dev 14 points 2 months ago

As a software person i have to protest at being called out like this. It's the fucking weekend man...stop picking on me for just one damn day.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

Ouch yeah that windows endpoint stuff is really rattling though. I get you just can't whitelist some folder without compromising security, but when the "eNdPoInt pRoTeCtIon" just removes dlls and exes you are compiling (and makes your PC crawl) you really hate that shit.

Right click? 40 seconds plz (maybe any of the possible contextual right clicks might be on a virus so lets just check them all once again).

At home I have an old linux pc, and it blows those corpo super pcs out the window.

Rant off :-D

Ah yeah, IT people are chill, always be cool with them is also a good idea, not their fault all this crap exists.

[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 months ago

Hahaha! We've an "architect" who insists he needs to be the owner on the gitlab. My colleague has been telling him to fuck off for the entire week. It reached the point that fool actually complained to our common boss... The guy is so used to working as a start-up and has no fucking clue about proper procedures. It's terrifying that he could be in charge of anything, really.

[–] bitchkat@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

I started getting messages every week from a carbon black scan blocking access to some npm's package.json.

IT just white listed files named package.json.

[–] Mountaineer@aussie.zone 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

In a rapidly churning startup phase, where new releases can and do come out constantly to meet production requirements, this one size fits all mentality is impractical.

If you refuse to whitelist the deployment directory, you will be taking 2am calls to whitelist the emergency releases.

No it can't wait until Monday at 9am, no there will not be a staged roll out and multiple rounds of testing.

I am more than willing to have a chat; you, me and the CEO.

[–] scops@reddthat.com 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

No it can't wait until Monday at 9am, no there will not be a staged roll out and multiple rounds of testing.

I hope you're doing internal product development. Otherwise, name and shame so I can stay the hell away from your product. This is a post-Crowdstrike world.

[–] Mountaineer@aussie.zone 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It IS bespoke internal development, not for deployment outside of the facility.
The computers running the software exist only to run this software and have no business talking to the internet at all.
IT is provided by an external third party vendor who operate on an inflexible "best practices dogma".

[–] Cypher@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

Sounds like you’re stuck in a worst practices mindset.

Sign your damn releases and have the whitelisting done by cert.