No Stupid Questions
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Ah, I've seen this vid. It feels so old now.
First indiscernible phrase is
Залупа or Dickhead is correct. Usually this noun describes not a person, but a bad place to live in (a similar-sounding word халупа is a name for a simple and small hut, probably due to it's shape) or some pointless endeavor.
Уёбище ты ёбаное isn't exactly fucking scumbag. Enraged person just strings similar words together. But if translated, ёбаное уёбище is a fucking fuckface, for the second word usually means someone (physically) unpleasant. I find that this version underlines the ranting nature of this banter.
Счетовод or calculator-man is an old word for an accountant, from the imperial times when only a minority knew basic math. Now it's only used as a sarcasm like there. Probably not precise, but meme-y.
In Косой пидор, блять the first word was omitted from subs. It means strabismus or an unusual alignment of one's sight, making eye-lines get crossed or point in different directions. It's a very old ableism that's still used for those who fail shots or throws in sports, games, military. It also has a direvative verb скосить when someone missed. See also: https://www.reddit.com/r/russian/comments/dkg6ne/the_most_confusing_sentence/ They could've used other words for visually impaired, but probably found it's not worth it.
Lifter or поднимальщик there is an invented word, basically a person who lifts (something), probably a barrel of a gun too much, thus the accuracy is abysmal. Don't think it can be translated better.
The beads part is correct, hah.
This translation is alright.