this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2024
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If so, why?

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[–] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 4 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (14 children)

Pppfff heck yeah.

Pretty good example is my lifestyle.

I travel perpetually. I saved money for several years, invested it, budget the interest, and don't work unless I want to.

For years, when my lifestyle comes up, people often say something like "I wish I could do that" or "I've always wanted to travel". After I say "you definitely can", they ask me how they can do it.

When I explain how simple and cheap it is to work less/travel, they 1) get angry or 2) dismissive.

Their stated goals haven't changed, they still claim to want to travel and stop working, but after hearing that they can do it at any point, they shut down or say "well, maybe one day...", which means that after years of living a lifestyle they're dissatisfied with, they're going to choose to continue their confining lifestyle.

Usually in real life they insist they "could never", but online they seem more comfortable condemning any quick or simple solution to working too much and being depressed/poor/trapped in their life.

Other travelers I meet say the same thing, that they can only travel for a limited time, but the allienation is more stark with people who I know more personally.

I'll go traveling, and each time I visit old friends hear the same "wow, what, how?", then "must be nice" and "I could never" stuff I've heard year after a year from the same people.

I haven't brought up my lifestyle on my own initiative in years because I've experienced over and over how upset people become when they realize that they can take control of their lives at any point and are choosing not to.

[–] SolacefromSilence@fedia.io 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I've come to understand that when people say, "I wish I could do that" or "I could live a life like that"... they're just admiring a thing that is mildly interesting or fashionable.

Most people hear "you can do it too" as a challenge to their current choices and not an invitation to a happier life. I don't take it personal...

As for how you're living, I find it really inspiring! I've tried to work out how I can make some changes and it's great to hear that others are doing it well.

[–] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 1 points 4 months ago

Definitely. If they say something non-specific like " that sounds great" or " I wish I could do that", I don't pursue the topic at all.

It's more after we have a conversation including "Do you think I could do that too? How? Can you help me do it?" And I have to provide specific answers or show them and then receive the brunt of their ire or dismissal.

It is so satisfying when I do help someone achieve their goals, though, that if I am asked specific questions I usually help, even if nine out of 10 people will balk at the opportunity once they can see it in front of them.

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