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In my experience, your first sentence sums it up nicely.
They assume a moral high ground because they've adopted a diet that is generally deemed healthier and better for the environment (I don't always agree with this).
But unless they're also doing all the things we could all do better (e.g. not buying new, not upgrading the the latest and greatest, not taking 40 minute showers, not eating out every second day), they're only somewhat less guilty of environmental damage than the average person, but they're taking a generally undeserved "holier than thou" position and then shoving it down your throat. This isn't everyone, and I don't really care what you eat, but these are the vegans that get under my skin.
Eh, I can see it both ways. Like, nobody is, or can be, perfect. That doesn't mean they don't have a valid moral argument for the good choices they make. They're trying to be a better person, and I think it's fair to help other people recognize the poor decisions they are making. Climate change especially affects all of us.
On the other hand, you're 100% correct. Nobody can lay exclusive claim to the high ground, so anybody acting superior is probably an asshole.
If I tell you that I bike to work, walk to the grocery store, buy most of my products used, and don't have an Amazon account, will you listen to me?
Also I would always listen to you, I may not agree or take your advice, but I will listen to you
It would be someone being less of a hypocrite so you would not be seen as as annoying as the other option