this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2023
110 points (91.0% liked)

Asklemmy

44152 readers
1101 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy ๐Ÿ”

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Basically title, every bit of online dating nowadays is either Match or Meta, and we're all about breaking corporate chains right?

So these are the thoughts I had:

  1. Matches based on simple user selection: age range, lifestyle, hobbies etc. None of that dumb algorithm stuff that makes you reset your profile every month.

  2. ActivityPub protocol so that anyone can run their own instance, but can also be blocked if anything heinous happens.

  3. E2EE for messaging (and anything else if it's possible).

  4. Someone wrote an open-source anti-CSAM script for Lemmy recently, I hope we could adapt that to our use.

  5. Just, like, everyone have a good time on this app, we're here for love lol

I am not a coder, so I would have no idea how to do this, but I wonder about the interest in such a creation. Maybe some of you out there could make something I could use to get a date (pls).

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[โ€“] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 59 points 1 year ago (2 children)

In theory? Yes. In reality? No.

Besides all the practical reasons already mentioned, it's simply a question of marketing to get people into it. Which costs money noone wants to pay because it kills the principle of breaking free of corpo-hold. Without marketing you'll end up with the nerds that are already here (majority). And of those, the majority are probably also male.

And on top of that, you might find other people living in NYC but what about smaller cities or even foreign ones? With reddits userbase you probably could, but you don't reach them because they already prefer mainstream-stuff ๐Ÿ˜

[โ€“] jet@hackertalks.com 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And of those, the majority are probably also male.

Ok we start with a federated Grindr, then once that takes off we use the network effects to pull in other orientations..

[โ€“] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Lol. But... We already have grindr. If I'd be gay, why should i use anything else? ๐Ÿ˜

[โ€“] jet@hackertalks.com 3 points 1 year ago (3 children)

It's still controlled by a single organization, it's not federated, it's not open, it's not Democratic. So if we're trying to bring democracy to more platforms, why not grinder?

[โ€“] Dontfearthereaper123@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yea but if I'm going on grindr my main desire is dick not democracy. Grindr is much more of a hookup app than a dating one so your trying to market to a customer based blinded by horniness.

[โ€“] jet@hackertalks.com 1 points 1 year ago

Makes it easier to get a MVP working then :)

[โ€“] WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How much democracy can one expect from a blowjob?

[โ€“] jet@hackertalks.com 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

As long as the participants have symmetrical information and are not influenced by a third party, it's very democratic

[โ€“] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 year ago

Actually i don't know shit about grinder. Just that it exists. But as long as it's free (i assume?) and fair, i wouldn't mind. Most platforms are (or end up) squeezing guys for every penny they have in hopes of finding someone. That is a system that disgusts me.

But simply technically: too few nerdy gays to build a federated grinder. And no cash to market it. And every potential gay would just be like "there's already grinder, where is the added benefit?"

[โ€“] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yep. Dating services are hard mode for the network effect, because you need to find a bunch of users that are close to you.

[โ€“] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Aye. Would kinda defeat the purpose if there'd be noone near. And the chances that one person near you does also like you is.... Well... Let's say, it sucks for the majority of men.

[โ€“] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'd actually guess the man would leave first most of the time. There's way too many dudes that rely on dragnet mass messaging to anyone they find attractive, to the point where they make it difficult for all the other men.

[โ€“] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 year ago

Aye. Pointless.