We have a discord server that we are slowly migrating into a federated and self-hosted IRC and Galene setup. IRC because it's easy to setup both servers and clients, Galene is a voice/video chat system that can be self-hosted and is comparatively lightweight and can do a few things you can't easily do with discord. (Share multiple windows from the same or different computers for example).
We also tried with jitsi meet before, which works, but is more resource intensive to self-host.
I experimented with maptool a bit but it doesn't really fit my playstyle. We generally don't use vtts.
3rd edition had a Dove totem (Magic in the Shadows p.157). I assume 5th has it as well somewhere.