My dad passed away about 10 years ago due to complications from a long term chronic illness. I've had to do a lot of unpacking and work in that time especially following my own divorce. A pretty common trend you see among kids who have had parents that needed the kind of long term care and medical impact my dad had is it's not really until after they pass that you can sort of separate them as a person from the disease and the impact it had on your lives. We also have some weird overlaps with children of narcissistic parenting because we usually wind up not having all our needs met growing up. Lots of codependency issues.
Tldr; I had a great dad and I love and miss him, for all his failings. Honestly: just imagine if Hank Hill was a marine turned chef and you can kinda get the picture. Simple man who couldn't even understand me half the time but loved me unconditionally every second we were together even while he was trying to keep his own shit together.
He should have been the one to fill his dark soul with LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHTTTTTTTTT!!!!