this post was submitted on 02 Mar 2024
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652
MySQL moment (lemmy.world)
submitted 8 months ago by devilish666@lemmy.world to c/programmer_humor@programming.dev
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[–] Kissaki@programming.dev 75 points 8 months ago (5 children)

Turned into a skeleton in 10 minutes

[–] Downcount@lemmy.world 57 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (3 children)

Yeah, also each query request was a human beeing. Such an unrealistic comic.

[–] brisk@aussie.zone 47 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

[–] Finalsolo963@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 8 months ago

🏳️‍⚧️

[–] HowManyNimons@lemmy.world 1 points 8 months ago

Also rings don't make you invisible.

[–] owen@lemmy.ca 38 points 8 months ago

Not to mention, mysql is a database management framework, while in the comic it's a food stand! Absurd!

[–] RustyNova@lemmy.world 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Not queries, programs. They have pid

[–] Downcount@lemmy.world 8 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Shoot, you are ~~right~~ wrong. They are processes.

[–] RustyNova@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Ah FUCK- mind said process, fingers typed program. But most of the time they are equivalent

[–] Downcount@lemmy.world 1 points 8 months ago

The thing is, at first I actually, responded with "you are right". See, humans make errors. Also, this isn't a competence competition. (At least I hope so.)

[–] drkt@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 points 8 months ago

Waiting for a computer causes a temporal bubble to surround the subjects and age them at a rate of x100

[–] devfuuu@lemmy.world 15 points 8 months ago (1 children)

If a query does not take 30 min does it even exist?

[–] Delta_V@lemmy.world 12 points 8 months ago (1 children)

The waiting is how you know its giving you correct answers.

[–] Fridgeratr@lemmy.world 7 points 8 months ago

Exactly lol. If it's instant you know you fucked up

[–] MonkderZweite@feddit.ch 14 points 8 months ago

ca. 150'000'000'0000 CPU cycles.

[–] RustyNova@lemmy.world 12 points 8 months ago

Got sigkill-ed. But of course, this doesn't cancel the request

[–] bappity@lemmy.world 38 points 8 months ago (5 children)

8 JOINS???? ARE YOU TRYING TO DIE

[–] xpinchx@lemmy.world 29 points 8 months ago

You guys are only using 8 joins?

[–] souperk@reddthat.com 17 points 8 months ago

No, they are using an ORM.

[–] FurbiesAndBeans@lemmy.world 14 points 8 months ago

It’s fine if they’re indexed correctly…

[–] Crashumbc@lemmy.world 10 points 8 months ago (2 children)

I worked on an enterprise wide medical record system for seventeen years.

It had 10000 tables in the schema. Our particular setup populated 1500 of them. ( yes I meant tables).

8+plus happened...

[–] rimjob_rainer@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 8 months ago (1 children)

So are you using FHIR yet?

[–] Crashumbc@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Lol, is funny you ask. I mainly worked on interfaces.

The medical industry makes the banking industry look nimble.

The organization had a couple interfaces using the protocol when I left. But adoption is slow, just about everyone still uses HL7. But it has been a couple years.

[–] rimjob_rainer@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 8 months ago

I asked because I've been working in the same field for 10 years, interfaces as well. You can count our FHIR interfaces on one hand, the rest is DICOM, HL7 or proprietary.

[–] seliaste@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 8 months ago

What it feels like to smoke 8 joins

[–] jawa21@lemmy.sdf.org 36 points 8 months ago (1 children)

This is fantastic and incredibly well made. Does anyone have the source?

[–] mac@programming.dev 22 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Tried looking. According to one of the users who posted it its by 0x00 whos the person who made floor 796. All things I can find relating to them are floor 796 related though and can't find where this was originally posted

Heres floor 796 though if anyones interested https://floor796.com

[–] blackstrat@lemmy.fwgx.uk 35 points 8 months ago (1 children)

If your views aren't nested joins on views on views on views with group bys with wildcard text matching are you even trying to enter hell?

[–] MajorHavoc@programming.dev 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Exactly. I once worked with a junior developer who had constructed a simple reusable view with test coverage. I don't think they were even trying to make a pact with the nether realm. I'm just not sure what SQL is coming to these days.

[–] blackstrat@lemmy.fwgx.uk 2 points 8 months ago

Absolute amateur

[–] intelisense@lemm.ee 24 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Should have used Postgres...

[–] titey@jlai.lu 3 points 8 months ago

True true...

[–] vampire@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago

Say it with me everyone, INDICES

[–] dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago

Quick roll back the transaction

[–] Tja@programming.dev 3 points 8 months ago

MongoDB, on the other hand, is web scale.