Asklemmy

my youngest brother had a lazy stick. It was a broom handle and a ruler taped together with a couple of chop sticks mixed in to help hold the two together. To avoid getting out of bed, he fashioned this up to turn off the lights in his room. Inspired by Homers broom in the episode of the Simpsons where he gains a ton of weight to go on disability.

This stick did the trick and even could turn the tv on and off.

Twenty years later, my brother is currently on a diet and losing a lot of weight. All the weight is post stick and much later in life, but we have a laugh about it every now and again.

I have poop-tongs. I live on a boat and my dog poops on the deck, so I throw them off by using poop tongs. I keep them separate from where I have my grill accessories.

I have a few of these.

Most fitting of these is a tabo. No need for a bidet when water just needs motion. The last time a stranger saw it, they were a child who I had to stop from drinking from it.

A Wii U. The most underrated console of all time because it was only successful enough to make a dozen games on it, yet here I am using it everyday. Hijackers never gonna seize a Wii U.

A hammock. People will always ask me why I have one just lying around in the home, but the truth is at times it's more comfortable than a bed.

A garage. You might be thinking "that's not so bad", that is, until you learn I don't drive (or rather I took lessons but was like nope) and wouldn't put a vehicle in there anyways (add to that I witnessed a house catch on fire because a car caught fire because of badly mass produced batteries). It's mostly for other peoples' vehicles, but it's only been used for a handful of nights. For the majority of the time, it's for storage, especially as it has a second attic.

The biggest poop knife equivalent of all though? A Lemmy account. People discover my Lemmy account from DeviantArt (when they finally decide to look up the username) and they ask "what do you do on there when you got Reddit too". And to them I say this. But seriously, one does not hold the world record for the most websites having signed up for (provable but it takes a long time) and not expand one's horizons.