Asklemmy

We've got a frog tong. Every time a frog gets in the house catch it with a tong and toss it in the garden.

Bucket in the shower to collect run-off water for flushing? Thought it was standard until I learned people don't even bother turning the faucet off when brushing their teeth.

Well, if it counts, we have a homemade potato grating machine from the Soviet times my grandfather has made because he was a genius and partly because of Soviet Union. It draws a lot of energy, emits a lot of noise (seriously). To turn on, it has two buttons, one for capacitor or something, another for the motor itself and, nowadays, I have no clue which one I should turn on first, left or right... It stands on three legs and weighs around 10 kg (old transformers were heavy). It produces good results, though, despite looking odd.

We have a pvc pipe cutter that is used to cut up frozen small animals, like quail and mice, for our raptors. It works really, really well.

We have a fork specifically for cat food. It’s different from all our other forks (we bought it separately) and it’s used exclusively for ‘mashing’ and dividing wet cat food.

We love our cats and we love to give them the food they like but wet cat food is disgusting and we’d rather not risk ‘cross contamination’.

EDIT: I know contamination isn’t t actually a thing but keeping a separate cat fork is a victimless crime ok?

The toaster bottle opener.

A metal combination bottle opener/can tapper which is kept by the toaster oven and used to pull the hot rack out to get your food.

My family has rules and positions we vote on. We're all adults out of the parents' house. We collaborate on a lot of projects and travel together in different combinations; the rules, or guidelines really, make us more efficient.

I am often travel coordinator for joint trips. Someone else handles food coordination specifically. The youngest calls meetings, usually on a quarterly to yearly cadence, and publishes the meeting notes to a shared cloud drive. Another is in charge of coordinating a Christmas gift exchange. We've rotated being financial and medical backup/adviser to the parents and those roles also comes with responsibility to update the other siblings on major changes.

I'm so confused by the poop knife. What in the hell is a poop knife?! WHY?!

My family is NORMAL and we have NORMAL things in the house!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS A POOP KNIFE OR THE FUCKING FROG TONGS YOU PEOPLE ARE INSANE

Yoga swing.

Anytime an adult asks what it is and I explain. They always - always always - assume its a sex swing.

Which, admittedly it could very well be if the wife wasn't so damn unwilling.

Wife and I have since established the crotch blanket (tm). It's really just a flat sheet, but we each have our own and take them even when we travel. Keeps your legs and bits from sticking in the heat, and crumpled correctly it supports your knees while you sleep.

Not that weird as an idea, but wish we would have settled on something better than "crotch blanket".

No where near the poop knife, but people are weirded out that I use a power drill for dishes. I don't have a washer and the drill dose things a rag could never conceive of.

We have a pair of tongs for fishing out stones that our youngest son (2) throws down an outside drain.

I have an internet pencil.

Getting reliable internet through the house while renting crappy houses means I end up using ethernet over power bricks.

Every couple of months they will fail and need to be power cycled but the switches on the power point are occluded by the EoP brick without enough room for my fat fingers.

I would just grab any pen or pencil to use as my switch flicking tool but they are constantly purloined by my children so I keep a special internet pencil on my desk.

My grandfather used to run a fauna park with kookaburras. We had a meat grinder, like what’s used to make filling for pies and pasties, which was used to grind up baby chickens and mice into a paste for the kookaburras.

They also had a meat grind to use for pies and pasties so I hope they never mixed the two.

back then, we all thought they were our normal breakfast spoons until we accidentally found photos of our roommates abusing them as sex toys

The frog tongs reminded me of my spider box. Because I think spiders are good and reduce insect population I don't kill them. Instead I have a shoebox with a piece of paper in it. Get spider on paper, they usually crawl right onto it if you hold it near them. Then throw paper into shoebox and close the box. Shoebox should seal and not have holes, btw. Most shoeboxes do not seal. Then take the box outside and open. +1 spider population in your yard.

I have a tongue scraper that I keep in the shower. It is used exclusively for scraping dead skin from my heels.

It looks like this one.

I'm just finding out now that we had a poop knife...

A snake poop knife, for the stuck snake poop in the snake box.

I have nothing else to say about it.

We have a suite of kitchen tools because sometimes walking downstairs to the garage is to far when all you want to do is measure something real quick or quickly tighten or loosen a screw.