The Onion

Well, maybe the children will have two dolls instead of 30 dolls. And maybe the two dolls will cost a couple bucks more than they would normally.

Donald Trump. Not The Onion.

I am extremely honored that President Xi has authorized China to begin the purchase of this unprecedented amount of American-grown soybeans—not merely nine or 10 beans, but 11 whole, intact beans.

Donald Trump. The Onion.

You've gotta keep a sharp eye out when you see those tariff discussion articles.

He said they were “magic” soy beans and worth far more than what we exchanged for them. I am the worlds best deal maker.

Better negotiator woulda sold at least 11 pods!