this post was submitted on 28 Oct 2025
165 points (96.1% liked)

Not The Onion

18539 readers
1657 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 21 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] hellfire103@lemmy.ca 42 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Who had *checks notes* 28 Days Later on their bingo card?

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 16 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I think Americans are just reviewing 90s and 2000s disaster movies and using them as a guide.

[–] Cascio@lemmy.world 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] hellfire103@lemmy.ca 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 week ago

Oh yeah, its all coming together

[–] bajabound@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I seem to recall a documentary where Cuba gooding Jr saved a small town from a monkey.

[–] moondoggie@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Yeah, yeah, we’ve all seen Jerry Maguire

[–] spaghettiwestern@sh.itjust.works 22 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

The upside? There's been measurable increase in Mississippi's IQ.

[–] Protoknuckles@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

I knew Norm McDonald was still alive!

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Here's a thought, let's not infect monkeys with COVID and herpes, eh?

[–] fonix232@fedia.io 9 points 1 week ago

Or if we must... don't transport them en masse? or at all?

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 4 points 1 week ago

a fun fact to know, that monkeys carry a type of herpes, called herpes B virus, which is related to HSV1&2, while herpes is usually a benign infection in the monkeys, the HERPES B virus is quite deadly to humans if they infected by it, because its a zoonotic virus, and humans dont have similar virus to it, much like with avian flu virus.

[–] VocationConfining@piefed.social 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Am I mlissing something? I don't see a mention of herpes, COVID, or aggressive.

[–] molten@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

Yeah... same here.

[–] MantisToboggon@lazysoci.al 9 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Jesus what kind of depraved shit were these monkeys into?!

[–] foggy@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

Not even gonna ask...

The article doesn't say whether these are two separate groups of monkeys, some infected with COVID and some infected with Herpes, or a cohesive set of monkeys simultaneously infected with COVID and Herpes.

[–] notsure@fedia.io 5 points 1 week ago

....and only in Mississippi news...