Too dumb to invent anything new but I try to understand how things work.
this post was submitted on 18 Oct 2025
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Samosas with spanakopita filling. I call them spanakomosas.
I didn't invent clinical depression but my god have I innovated it
Together we're making great strides in the depression tech sphere
A lock-and-key mechanism. Modeled and 3D printed a proof-of-concept, too. Was proud of it until I found out someone invented it 100 years ago
Theres nothing truly new under the Sun
π Damn.. I feel that.
Cut a strip of vinyl siding, cardboard, whatever, about two inches wide and eight to ten inches long. Drive a nail through it at the centerline about an inch from the end. Remove the nail. Cut a slit from the nail hole to the end down the centerline.
Now if you need to drive a nail just out of reach or hammer one in without risking your fingers, just stick a nail in the hole, set it with a few strikes, then tug to pull the strip away.
I wrote an algorithm that could detect top talker trends from network flows. At the time it could reliably work up to 40Gbps depending on flow sample rate and your definition of reliable.
Not sure if it's in use anymore.
A few months ago I started working on an interpreted programming language. It's not particularly polished, but it helped me get a new job!
Nice, what language are you implementing it in? Does it have any special/unique functionality or was it more of a learning experience in how interpreted langs work?
I've developed it in rust!
I made it because I needed an interpreted language in rust and didn't want to use lua, and because I just like doing it :)
I'd done some languages before, but just some very simple assembly-like stuff
This one has functions, control flow, closures, scoped variables and such. Also, it's stack based! Which is interesting for me and hell for the users (also me, lmao)
Sadly I won't post it here because it has my full legal name attached :(
They probably wouldn't seed it, but I really don't want to risk it
Deep Spy Penetration
A game to play when bored in an unfamiliar building. The goal is to get into as many areas of the building as possible without being told to leave.
Rules:
- Donβt be an asshole. Donβt steal stuff, break anything or move barricades.
- Donβt lie to get access. Asking is allowed.
- Opening doors with easily missed βno entryβ signs is allowed, anything the average person might not see. Donβt open doors with blatant warnings.
- If you get caught you lose.
- If you set off an alarm you mega-lose.
And a best selling breakfast wrap at a restaurant.
I used to fix POS machines and networks for retail and hospo. I didn't wear a uniform, just a polo shirt. I could walk into server rooms, storerooms full of liquor, and open cash registers without ever announcing myself or saying who I was.
Retail and hospo workers so often DGAF who walks behind the bar.
You can get into almost anywhere with a brown, collared shirt and a cardboard box.
And you can direct traffic with a high viz vest.
I invented (developed) an mp3 file splitter. I did this in order to allow more tracks for the digital books my wife listens to. Each track was over an hour long and she'd sometimes have to listen to over 45 minutes just to end up to where she fell asleep the night before. Now each track is 10 minutes long (or 15, or 5; it's variable, so your choice). So I make tiny sized mp3 files out of large sized mp3 files.
A UV-blocking screen used in screen printing processes.
A new data structure in computer programming. I got the idea from cell chemistry, and figured computers today can handle slow and inefficient, instead of fast and clever. Turns out itβs also great for networking.
π explain more!
Itβs a personal project Iβve been working on.
Basically the data is moved around by things very slowly. Itβs easy to integrate them into different systems. Itβs like a very slow communication layer on top of everything else.
Any chance there is a repo for it? π€©
Thanks π. Several, but still in development.
Iβve been working on this for some now; Iβll be talking about this more when I finish all the api.
the open-api inbound calls and db have been done for months. But itβs not a complete implementation in the code. However the spec was done a couple years ago and it has not changed, which means Iβm probably going to keep that one.
Iβm working on a testing platform where people can log in and try the library. Iβm using that to test and finish.
Once I have actually finished, it will be public under the apache2 license. Iβll save this comment and let you know in a new community I will make in .ml for it
I actually do think Iβve invented a data structure for interleaving multiple streams in a single file in a really efficient way. I canβt find something that looks like it, and it seems obviously faster and more logical than anything else Iβve seen. Itβs the level below B-trees so not optimised for least amount of lookups within a record table, nor would it be efficient for adding records in a middle of the stream, but for treating data streams like files (append, shrink) I do think itβs significantly more efficient than what else I can find. One of these days I really should submit a paper and see what reviewers say.
Language, Book-print, fire, the wheel, lying on the internet...
Wait a minute... you didn't invent lying on the internet. I did! That's really cool about those other things though
Dude, you tell the truth. I did lie though.
I invented a pagination system for web pages that allowed easy navigation with only a few clicks to get to the page you want, whether it was 3 pages or 3000 pages.
I'm really surprised no one else has invented it because it was so much better than anything else I've seen.
Does it still exist, and can it be implemented client-side? That sounds really cool!
I wrote it for a friend's company, and I don't think he ever did anything much with it. I don't remember the exact details, but it was something like this for 200 pages:
<1 - 100> [101 - 110] 111 ... 120 [121 - 131] <131 - 200>
Basically 3 levels of page selection, where you can pick one in a range of 10, skip forward or back by 10 or go to a new section of pages. It was something like that anyway. The total number of pages defined the ranges. It was all very clever and worked well for moving around large numbers of pages.
In 2004 a 20" folding touchscreen which will soon be the 10" Samsung tri-fold OLED. AI "vibe" programming. Intel handheld (UMPC) smaller than Steam Deck.
The board games: Nightfall, World-Z League, and Unchained.
In middleschool me and my friends used to play this game where you say a sentence and without pause next person says one. If we ran around a lot it was a very funny one to play while resting on some bench.
After few cycles making up stuff with no pause-time allowed, you would end up with a very random story that sounds like a fever dream. We simply called it "making up stories" with rough translation.
During a session, one friend said "I buy a boat" which we objected because story already established they only have 50 gold from the bird handing out leather hats that they met while falling from sky.
They kept insisting with excuses like "I buy a boat on sale" so I got mad and said "look you can either buy 50 glass bottles of water or save money for ship."
As soon as they replied they will save I said "while saving money you die of thirst."
Anyway that's how we reinvented "making up story with choices." where I narrated with choices while trying to ruin their story.
Over time choices became less rigid as in "what do you say to this man" and then it slowly evolved into us reinventing dnd from there.
The wheel
I have reinvented said wheel so many times.
A method of optimizing parameters for manufacturing bearings. Specifically the raceway superfinish process.
There are several machine parameters (oscillation speed, stone pressure, time, etc) that go into the superfinish process. The only output is surface roughness. I created a way to optimize for a low roughness. The best part was that once you set it up, you can just start printing out worksheets and handing them to engineering techs to get some more data collected.
Before I did this, superfinish parameters were considered a bit of a black art and were only adjusted when there was a problem. This means they were always as bad as they could possibly be.
Some pretty neat data acquisition systems for particle accelerators.
Now I know for sure ther are terabytes of data collected per single run. MORE of this system please
This sounds like a question that could easily potentially doxx someone. Just saying.
Looks like they invented a new way to doxx people!
Im the Aristocrats!
For sure, I'd like to post a (trivial) invention of mine, but it's documented elsewhere in a way that's easily traceable to my real identity.
I created a pacman wrapper script to automate updating my system (Arch BTW), logging what was updated in a sorted directory based on the current week range, as well as the update progress. My Arch system broke after an update, so this will help me narrow down what packages could have broken it if it does break again.
I also have a script to automatically build android APKs from source, sign it with my own key, and copy it to a Syncthing directory. Most useful when creating my own apps.
One last notable one: I created a script to download a file to a hard drive and store it in a directory based on the domain of the URL. I plan to add a recursive mode next so I can download multiple files at once.
I created some aliases and function to simplify certain commands, such as v for nvim, lsal for ls -al, and cn for clear && neofetch.
Overall, I'm happy with what I have created. I doubt I'm the first to make some of these scripts, and I'm sure they're not the best, but they work for my use case.
I invented the word "couchcuntatoe" during the covid lockdown.
Go ahead and use this versatile word in your everyday Instagram chats.
I did get banned from reddit for no reason and not due to my invention.
How to tell if a joke is truly funny.
Still working out a few kinks.
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