RPGMemes

Bag of Olding: A very generously sized bag of holding, however it unfortunately speeds up the passage of time significantly inside it. Don't store food in it!

Harder tack: Magically compressed ships biscuits, commissioned by an admiral who heard of lembas bread but found it too expensive. His corpse was found in the harbour waters a week later.

One contains enough calories to last you a week of hard work, but you need a chisel and a sledgehammer to crack it into pieces and one hand-sized biscuit weighs 3kg. It tastes like cement dust.

Scroll of Gorilla Warfare. When used summons 15 gorillas. These gorillas are wild and do not obey orders given by the caster.

Band of Gorilla Repair: Once per day, can repair anything, or rather, will summon 1d4 (can be modified depending on the size of the job) massive gorillas who show up seemingly out of nowhere whenever anything near the wearer breaks or is heavily damaged. The gorillas can repair anything.

Those not expecting to see a bunch of repair-happy gorillas must make a fear check.

These mysterious gorillas are actually friendly and fix whatever thing was broken, but beware, their patience quickly runs out for anybody intentionally causing disrepair or destruction in their presence!

Yeah, it works just like this!

Bag of Communal Holding

Content is shared with all other bags of communal holding in existence. Sometimes retrieving objects involves awkward hand contact if someone else is using their bag at the same time.

Potion of Water Breathing: DOES NOT RETAIN AIR BREATHING

Amulet of speak with the dead - cursed. Once attuned the user can speak with the dead, but can only interpret chat with the living as wailing, any attempts to speak with the living will sound like wailing to the other entity. Removing the item does not break the curse.

Scroll of summon wisp.

When used nothing appears, but you gain a speech impediment for 1d6 days.

Cape of (Refugee) Flight: you gain the power to fly for your life.

Screaming Cloak of Invisibility: you're invisible, but the cloak constantly screams, "HE'S OVER HERE!!!" and tries to give away your location.

The Tax Axe: raises both your taxes and your target's with every swing.

Bag of holding, but everything that goes in comes out a crocheted plushie version.

Broom of Flying Yes its a broom that allows you to fly

No one ever said anything about landing The broom cannot come down lower than 30 feet from the ground. Dismounting will stop the broom and allow you to pick it up, as long as your concious from the fall

This sword is enchanted with fire magic!

...The handle is made of super flammable material, though, and a bunch of people got third degree burns trying to weild it. There was a massive recall.

You know what "recall" means, though? Collector's item! These are rare af.

A potion of True Healing... heals 1d8+2 damage, recipient MUST truthfully answer the next question they are asked. Sell the characters 6, but don't tell them about the truth serum. Let them figure it out on their own.

Boots of Elvenkind... except Elves can hear you.

A bag of holding that contains infinite clowns. Every time it is opened, 1d4 clowns come out. The clowns are useless in combat and attempt to distract, annoy and mock the holder. While this could be used as a distraction, the clowns will follow the holder, drawing attention to them. You could create a table for what kind of clowns you get (mime clowns, pie throwing clowns, balloon animal clowns, magician clowns, etc). The clowns will wander off after 1d6 minutes. Where the clowns go and what they are (Illusions? Demons?) is unknown.

Sweaty Sword:

Really good sword, strong steel. The handle is wrapped in living leather harvested from the palms of a cursed pervert. It's always slightly warmer than your hand and it exudes a sticky substance that enhances grip. Smells like corn.

Survival Stew Balls:

A fried ball of...food. It's rock hard, slightly too big to hold with one hand easily, completely impermeable, and covered in a flaky, delicate panko breaded crust. To eat, boil one in 5 gallons of water to produce a pot of stew. The flavor is different for every ball. Never cook two in the same pot at the same time. Wash the pot thoroughly within 6 hours after removing from heat. especially if it's made of iron. Under no circumstances are you to reheat the left overs.

Emergency Shews:

Bubble gum that turns into one time use sandals. Once the flavor runs out, you have 30 seconds before the gum expands into shoes. The sizes seem to have been printed on the gum but they've long since faded or rubbed off. Durian flavor.

Dead Cat Bounce:

A black bottle with a cat eye painted on it. If you drink the contents and die due to falling from a great height, you will be revived immediately and launched with equivalent force in a random direction.

Cube of instant castle: Say the keyword 'open' to transform this cube into a '200x'200 castle. The transformation happens instantly, and if you're caught in the area of effect, be prepared to get smashed. The cube is hard of hearing.

Headband of miner intellect:

• Forged by a dwarven artificer who lost too many colleagues due to their lax attitude around safety.

• Anyone wearing this headband becomes aware of the quality of air and props for whatever tunnel they're currently in.

• Wearers possess an intrusive urge to find proper protective equipment before attempting a task.

Ring of invisibility. Makes you invisible, but makes everyone else invisible to you as well.

I have two I will be using in my next campaign:

Ring of attunement: Provides 1 extra attunement slot. (Requires attunement)

Event Staff: This staff allows the wielder to gain unquestioned entry into any "employees only" areas or zones otherwise off-limits to the public. Anyone (including actual staff or other officials) who sees the wielder in one of these areas will assume they are a known employee or other official who is granted special access to the area. Unfortunately, they will all also view the wielder as the least competent and least trustworthy employee or official with the organization. Any actions taken in the area are likely to be closely watched and highly scrutinized by any observer who would know better.

ETA: One from the current campaign in which I am a player character. Our DM thought of this one:

Bullet of Healing:

This magical bullet can be loaded into any firearm. Whomever is shot by this bullet first receives 1d6 piercing damage followed by 1d10 healing. If the initial damage causes recipient's HP to fall below 0 before the bullet's healing effects begin, they will fall unconscious and will not gain any healing effect from the bullet. Instead, one death save is automatically passed.

Bag for holding:

It's a bag of holding but instead of occupying a bag slot it must be kept in the main hand.

Sword of charisma: But it attracts bugs for some reason.

Amulet of protection: Stops heals too.

Boots of speed: Brakes not included.

Wand of light: Slightly radioactive.

Potion of restoration: Removes buffs as well, kills undead.

Bag of folding.

A bag of holding except anything stored in it comes out folded in half.

Sir Mix-a-Lot (unrelated) is a traveling potion salesman who shows up for my party at suspiciously specific times, and generally has discounted potions specifically tailored for whatever they happen to be doing at the time. For example, if they need to be really strong, he'll have a bottle of Sir Flex-a-Lot's Magical Muscle Maximizer, which does increase the strength of one's muscles, but not of their bones or connective tissue (it was designed to be used only in bodybuilding competitions), so whenever the drinker does a STR check, they must also make a CON saving throw to avoid breaking a bone or tendon. Need to decipher an ancient text? Try Sir Scripts-a-Lot's Polyglottal-in-a-bottle, which will let you read unknown languages, but also comprehend all unknown languages, even those of the plants and animals around you, making it very difficult to concentrate on any one thing. (inspired by https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/springtime)

Magic rope - an animated rope that can be commanded to levitate and tie knots. When placed in any container, pouch or pocket, it immediately gets tangled up and take 1d6 minutes per 5ft of rope to untangle. Other objects in the container also become tangled with the rope, and take 1d6 minutes to remove individually, entangled objects are released immediately when the entire rope is untangled.

Magic rope is unable to be cut by any non-magical item.

Ring of protection. Grants everyone around you protection in a fairly large radius. Might be useful for long range combat, maybe. Might also be useful to navigating certain environmental hazards.

Boots of Flying. They can fly, but only have a carry weight of a few pounds. If you're more than say ten pounds, the little wings flap but gain no altitude. They are not autonomous. Might be useful in condunction with other magics to reduce weight.

Gauntlets of Ogre Might. Do not affect strength. They do tell you the odds of nearby ogres taking particular actions. They might do this, they might do that, and so on.

Hammer of Striking. Social bonuses when organizing labor. Combat bonuses only when near many allies.

Boots of Haste. Gain extra actions but large penalties to all checks. Haste makes waste. May be useful if combined with large bonuses or fixed outcomes (eg: DND diviner wizard).

Circlet of human perfection, but the creator had a really niche fetish.

Wand of Fireball: has a medium chance of shooting a stream of cinnamon whiskey.

Flaming sword. Only the handle sets on fire.

Helm of Invincibility: you are invincible, but only to people who have Vince in their name, e.g. Vince, Vincent, some other name with Vince