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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Blazinter on 2024-02-17 14:07:59.
Once upon a time, I had a coordinator/micro-mangle-ger who's full list of morally reprobable acts I should not list as you're here for a MC post and not a bible.
There was a time where shortly before my alarm to head to a morning shift, I had a very abrupt and awful feeling in my stomach that prompted me to an unpleasant end of digestion. After I knew it would take longer than usual, I messaged the team's Whatsapp group to communicate that I'd be just a smidge late. This normally would be the end of it as we almost never mind slight delays, specially ~~as coordinator committed them almost every day on purpose~~ if we politely warned ~~(unlike her)~~ beforehand. But that time coordinator felt like being herself and ask for details.
Me: Suffering some sort of sudden indigestion.
Coord: You need to bring a doctor's note
Me: I'm sure I'll be fine after this and just be 10min late
Coord: You need to bring a doctor's note and then come after that
Without wanting to bother further to say how counterintuitive that is, I just comply. I go to the doc, explain the situation, and instead of giving me a note which she can't under these specific circumstances; she gave me a full day of medical leave, as I expected.
I communicate the course of events in the WhatsApp group, coordinator is angery but ought to go bite rocks, and that was that. After this experience, always that I suffered a similar instance, I just headed to the doctor right away. Was argued that as I work security and almost never can leave my spots, sudden diarrhea and risk of waiting for someone else to cover the spot while I go was too inconvenient and risky for everyone involved.
However, twas the prequel of the malicious compliance that led me to write this post.
Years passed, law finally did (part of) it's thing and ex-coordinator is washing dishes in boomfrick - nowhere. The job and workplace's positivity and efficiency peaked (who would have thought) as much as unrelated happenstances allowed, so while I almost never suffered those poorly timed Krakatoas, I did not longer felt like doing the medical exploit and just go to work finely.
One of such times occurred, I go to the toilet, warn my coworkers of my likely slight delay. This time, it was our actual real direct boss who decided to butt in. Another very vain mangle-ger even if her sabotage power levels were much lower.
Boss: Why so?
Me: Some sort of indigestion
Boss: If you feel fine to go after this then wouldn't you be able to have held until you arrived punctual at work?
Me: I thought it was better to get it out of the way first instead of potentially soiling myself on the way, or even wasting more work time by having to take longer feeling worse after having held unnecessarily longer. Also this is very abrupt. Do you know how health works?
Boss: If someone can have punctuality, should have it, period.
????
Once I arrive to the workplace she was waiting for me to chew me out (even despite I actually managed to arrive in time). To which I only find myself able to respond with "is this really how you want it? How you find it most optimal for everyone involved?" And she actually doubled down by taking her phone, and sending me an email to leave it in written on the spot. I extremely doubt it is legal to enforce this, and I'm certain I could just repeat the exploit, but ~~spite~~ professionalism and love made me feel like being supportive.
I didn't suffer any bad instance again, but I would regulate myself to make it the middle of my shifts the time to execute the regular ends of my digestion. And who knows if those are going bad or not, so, I may or may not take extra time. Just in case.
Coincidentally there may have been a promo on Taco Bell or something because somehow the rest of my team also started to take longer and more frequent times at their bathroom doings. Glad to have remembered to tell them it is fine as written by our boss.
No aftermath beyond some co-workers feeling more relieved and chill at their shifts than usual thanks to having more than just 15min of rest per shift (we weren't sabotaging our own selves, coordinated well to not inconvenience anyone) and a sighting of our boss literally grinding her teeth after she learnt what she provoked. She didn't revoke anything thus far. I suspect because that'd mean admitting a wrong and by experience I can assure you that one requires a judge and lawyers for her to ever do that about anything.
PS: Boss actually makes an Euro while I make a cent.
PPS: Sorry for any typos and bad formatting. I suffer dysgraphia and I'm typing this from my phone. May or may not be while sitting on a toilet.