Imagine fucking up so badly you have an xkcd made about you.
this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2025
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To add insult to injury I hope they make a what if exploring what it would take to fuck up so badly.
I did not realize that was based on a real event until now.
At this point the most surprising part of all of this is that a federal agency was permitted to do something beneficial to regular people.
You're telling me a shrimp decayed this atomic nucleus?
FUCK.
Normally, I'm a measured man, save some for later I tell myself. There's always more listeria and if I had a dime for every salmonella salad recall I'd be able to afford eggs and coffee right now. But this time, this time seemed different. Radioactive Walmart shrimp. Surely, this was going to be a one time thing. Time to open the hatch, I thought. Drop all my jokes at once, get them out while they're still fresh. Last thing you want is rotten radioactive shrimp jokes, you'll never escape the stink of that, might as well delete your account and start over at that point.
So, I blew my load the first round. Spent all my jokes on the radioactive Great Value shrimp from Walmart like a fool. And now I got nothing new. Just recycled radioactive shrimp jokes. And some kind of weird lump in my throat. Too bad I can't afford to have a doctor check that out.
i am sorry for your predicament
So this is how we persue larger and larger unit sized shrimp?
But seriously, how the fuck?
I’m trying to imagine the factory that both prepares shrimp and handles nuclear waste… it just does not make sense…
some foods (and other things, like blood and some other medical products) are irradiated in order to sterilize them and make them last longer, 137Cs sources are used for this purpose because this material is easily available but can't be used for other purposes (like radiography)
But it doesn't exactly explain how the cs-137 contaminated the shrimp. Usually when irradiating anything the source is quite decoupled from the target.
This story is sorr of getting weird
the source getting damaged or corroded somehow is the simplest explanation i can think of now, cesium is likely in form of chloride which is very easily soluble in water
or maybe it was intentional sabotage by competitor, who the fuck knows
The best known Chinese rodenticide, containing about 6–20% TETS, is Dushuqiang, "very strong rat poison". It has been used for mass poisonings in China: in April 2004, there were 74 casualties after eating scallion-flavored pancakes tainted by their vendor's competitor; and in September 2002, 400 people were poisoned and 38 died from contaminated food.[11][12] In 2002, there was one documented case of accidental poisoning in the US.[6]
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tetramethylenedisulfotetramine
Smaller sources for sensing and detection are ceramic. Cobalt is preferred for larger sources but the half life is only ~5 years so I'm sure there are plenty of applications where the solubility of CsCl is outweighed by the 30 year half life.
CsCl is also much less active per gram because about half of fission product cesium is stable (on top of longer halflife)
It's called diversifying, sweetie
The U.S. imports between 1.7-2 billion pounds of shrimp a year. That's a lot more than I expected. Someone is eating a lot more shrimp than I am.
It's me.
Our planet is dying but we just can't figure out why.
If the Earth had feelings I'm sure it'd be happy to know long after we accelerate the surfaces inhabitability for the majority of our population, it will keep chugging along. The amount of surface water and orbital path should guarantee a million years from now when humans have inevitably killed themselves, life will still exist on earth. And one day it will turn to see the sun rolling into its eyes and think to itself, after all these years. Rick Astley still never gave up on me.
Hey George... the ocean called.
The jerk store called!!!
Imagine being bitten by a radioactive shrimp
If it’s a pistol shrimp then I could become the real life One Punch Man.
Shrimp-man, Shrimp-man, does whatever Shrimp-man can...
So many brands from exactly the same supplier. The American illusion of choice.
This got me thinking about being bit by a radioactive shrimp and getting powers like Spider-man. Not sure what powers I'd even get, I already have the shrimp dick.
It'll make you curl up like you've been hunched over your computer desk for decades.
Already got that power too. Shrimp-man sounding like a raw deal.
We can always cook you if you like.
Pistol shrimp bite would turn you into One Punch Man or Woman.
I'd start watching the MCU again if there was a she-shrimp superhero with pistol-shrimp powers
The Guberment is LYING to you, it's the radioactive that gives you super powers!
So how does this happen? Did they use shipping containers to transport radioactive waste? And then just said fuck it its good?
Weird we didn't ever have this happen before
Imagine all the times it did happen and we just didn't know. I don't need this to be proud to not ever set for in a Walmart though.
There was a concern of radioactive shrimp after Fukushima, but you’d have to have been collecting shrimp right near the nuclear plant, and I believe they still would have been safe to eat
Teenage Mutant Samurai Shrimp
This is a big deal