this post was submitted on 16 Aug 2025
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Programmer Humor

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[–] sheogorath@lemmy.world 110 points 1 week ago (2 children)

What about joe? Because the engineer who bootstrapped the project mistakenly put his name as the mainline branch and we realized it far too late during the lifecycle and the team decided to keep the branch name because it's hilarious.

[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 90 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)

Branch on every commit. Never delete. If something needs to be rolled back, merge it back into HEAD. Conflict resolution only through melee combat.

[–] SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social 43 points 1 week ago

Never merge. Only cherry pick.

[–] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 22 points 1 week ago

You have met every team I have ever worked with apparently

[–] NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

How have you survived in this world without exploding into a million little fiery merge conflicts?

[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago

I let the interns handle those. If they survive, they get bragging rights.

[–] Rusty@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 week ago

Conflict resolution only through melee combat.

Wrestle with Jeff, Prepare for death.

[–] locuester@lemmy.zip 42 points 1 week ago
[–] GenosseFlosse@feddit.org 31 points 1 week ago

It's master3. Don't question it!

[–] Aatube@kbin.melroy.org 28 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] kubica@fedia.io 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I like prod because it makes less assumptions on stability. It is what is being used, good luck with the rest.

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[–] mercano@lemmy.world 24 points 1 week ago (2 children)

“live” didn’t make it onto the list, I see.

[–] moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)
[–] sik0fewl@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 week ago

Live and let die?

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[–] AnotherPenguin@programming.dev 21 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Tja@programming.dev 28 points 1 week ago

Why would you name a branch just 7 asterisks?

[–] tiredofsametab@fedia.io 21 points 1 week ago

Boring answer: older repos are master, newer ones are main. I've worked at companies that did other things such as having the prod branch be a branch called prod.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

🤡 for master

👽 for test

💩 for dev

[–] slazer2au@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago

Chaotic Evil should be the current sha hash.

[–] palordrolap@fedia.io 15 points 1 week ago

belay your panic. even mommy cannot save you.

"testing"

don't wake up. fourth row just dropped.

[–] neukenindekeuken@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Develop should be Chaotic Evil.

[–] roanutil_@programming.dev 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This is what is used where I work. I have never and will never understand why.

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[–] Rhaedas@fedia.io 11 points 1 week ago
[–] Midnitte@beehaw.org 11 points 1 week ago

Feel like lawful evil fits better for master

[–] pelya@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago

It's goshujin-sama

Yall have multiple branches?

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

"fuck it, it''s friday"

[–] independantiste@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] tamlyn@lemmy.zip 13 points 1 week ago

we use git-flow in our company. So release is already another branch.

[–] ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] xthexder@l.sw0.com 5 points 1 week ago

Untitled-project2_final_fixed-3.zip

[–] ronigami@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

(empty string)

[–] rem26_art@fedia.io 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] marsza@lemmy.cafe 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)
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[–] danc4498@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

it's a one way ticket to having "who's on first?" problems

[–] ripcord@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

If you never pu5 anything into production then you never fail

[–] pohart@programming.dev 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

qa.

All development happens in feature branches. Someone other than the original developer needs to build and test the feature on our development servers. If successful it gets merged into qa, where it gets built and tested against it qa servers. Production build are tags on qa.

[–] UntouchedWagons@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 week ago

Some of my repos on github use either main or master.

[–] cute_noker@feddit.dk 6 points 1 week ago
[–] dosuser123456@programming.dev 6 points 1 week ago

branch (i always commit directly to the main branch so i only have one, so why bother naming it. also YOU CANT STOP ME FROM DOING IT BWAHAHAHAHAHA)

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Moab is “mouth over anus & balls”.

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[–] RiQuY@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 week ago
[–] enbipanic@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 week ago
[–] rozodru@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago
[–] Nomecks@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 week ago

Main is QA. Production is release branches.

[–] Mithre@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Our development branch is "working", then we have specific dated snapshots where we run our datasets through our programs.

[–] normalexit@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Hey Linus did you merge my branch into mommy? I really want to get it out.

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