this post was submitted on 25 Jul 2025
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305
Women are anonymously spilling tea about men in their cities on viral app (www.nbcnews.com)
submitted 3 days ago by fantawurstwasser@feddit.org to c/technology@lemmy.world
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[–] CaptPretentious@lemmy.world 67 points 2 days ago (5 children)

So I've had multiple GF's who were physically abusive, cheaters, chronic liars, gaslighters... so is there a version of this for me? Or are men never victims still?

So glad this didn't exist like ~15 years ago. My one ex, who decided to start a relationship with her co-worker, while we were looking for and then financing a house... When I broke up with her (like 1 week after closing), while I was trying to process the betrayal, she took to Facebook and text messages spamming EVERYONE a fake story about me, trying to pass herself as the victim. Even including a fake pregnancy! All to make me look bad because I caught her cheating. Thankfully, this app didn't exist, and several of my female friends reached out to me for my side of the story.

But all the "stories" on that app, 100% vetted, right? We get unbiased, both sides of the story, right... Evidence was required... right? Because imaging the harm someone could do if they were just petty, or scornful, of just bored. It's not like women have ever made false rape claims... right....

I'm not trying to imply my situation is what all men go through... but you can't just dismiss it, or other men, because it doesn't fit into your social media-fueled narrative. Yes, some men suck (and that's selling it short). But, women are just as capable of the same level of suck. We are all, after all, human.

[–] lenz@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 day ago

To answer your question, there have been apps like this for men… but they keep getting taken down after users start posting revenge porn.

[–] kieron115@startrek.website 12 points 2 days ago

People suck, hopefully you were able to take her to court for defamation because what she did is almost the definition of libel where I live (Maryland, US).

[–] theparadox@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago (2 children)

People who pretend to be victims upset me almost as much as people who victimize others (they are not equal, but it is still so fucked up). Victims have a rough enough time already being taken seriously. It doesn't take more than a few false positives to completely take the air out of legitimate accusations from victims. I wish there was some way to solve this problem.

[–] kyub@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 1 day ago

Generally yes but it's not nearly always so clear cut that one is 100% the offender and the other one 0%. Which is why attention to details, context, sophistication, listening to both sides before coming to a conclusion, etc. Is so important. But guess what kind of things get lost when taking part in such a one-sided blame game on the semi-anonymous internet.

Apps like this but also social media more generally allow for one-sided public naming and shaming of Individuals who probably don't even know about it. It's problematic because it can be deeply unfair.

I get that there is also value in women protecting themselves against predators but more than likely most content within the app/service is probably one-sided public blaming and gossiping.

And as we all know from right-wing propaganda, being the first to make a bold claim public and generate headlines with it is very powerful and spreads the message far and wide, whether true or false, and many will just believe it's true without further investigation.

[–] Kyuuketsuki@lemmy.ml 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I don't know why they upset you "almost as much" - people who pretend to be victims are in fact people that are victimizing others. "Other sides" notwithstanding, you said it yourself in so many words: they're also further victimizing actual victims.

I frankly find it more inexcusable.

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[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago

I also have been attacked by an ex.

I can see both sides - if it's an app about suffering abuse, all should be welcome vs there aren't enough women-only spaces online and those that exist are frequently brigaded.

Both have reasonable arguments. Likely a compromise where a filter could be set where you can choose to opt your posts into the women-only feed.

However, my argument would be this app is bad and no one should be on it. Even if all the content is true, a gossip app that covers legally questionable things is likely not a sensible place to hang around.

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[–] scottrepreneur@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago

How did they not mention the 'hack' here?

[–] joel_feila@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

Finally i have a way to explain my feeling about this. This is just yelp for people. Yet another attempt to rate people. Didn't Candance owebs try to make something like this years ago but for reporting racists?

[–] kieron115@startrek.website 21 points 2 days ago (1 children)

How is this not a stalking app?

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[–] bathing_in_bismuth@sh.itjust.works 73 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Imagine if the genders were swapped in this situation

[–] Bgugi@lemmy.world 25 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Or if this was targeted at virtually any other category of people

[–] Lfrith@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 day ago

Yeah, my thoughts were having people encouraged to add on information they know on top of public information is a gold mine for governments. Someone could opt out of social media and not even have a phone or computer, but now you could have citizens themselves creating profiles on their behalf and providing information on individuals like political leanings. People are just thinking dating because that is what the site is about.

But, my thoughts went to how a site could do the same for whether someone is legal or not, whether they are pro government or not, etc.

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[–] Wazowski@lemmy.world 28 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Back in the Google Glass days, I theorized that it wouldn’t be long before you could look at a person walking down the street and near instantaneously have a full profile of that individual, their age and address and family and everything, with Yelp-style reviews commenting on how the subject is a huge dick, or has a huge dick, or kicks puppies, etc. “Free”, of course, encumbered only by ads for bullshit dating services, and with just the minor inconvenience of full access to every goddamn piece of data on your phone.

I am only surprised that this kinda shit hasn’t happened much much earlier.

[–] BackgrndNoize@lemmy.world 15 points 2 days ago

I think some student used AI along with the Meta sunglasses with cameras to do exactly this and it's creepy how much info about you is just out there

[–] Numenor@lemmy.world 69 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Tea just suffered a massive data leak

[–] Wazowski@lemmy.world 15 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Gotta be a special type fuckbrain to give this app a photo and a copy of your gotdamn ID.

[–] gian@lemmy.grys.it 1 points 12 hours ago

Else how can you certify you are a woman ? We don't want a man lurking around

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[–] Feyd@programming.dev 244 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Oh great another centralized repository of data about people (uploaded without their knowledge or consent in the case of the men) that definitely won't be abused by bad actors

[–] bamboo@lemmy.blahaj.zone 209 points 3 days ago (5 children)
[–] dylanmorgan@slrpnk.net 59 points 3 days ago

This post is directly under a post about the breach in my feed.

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[–] StraponStratos@lemmy.sdf.org 45 points 2 days ago

This is fucked up.

[–] percent@infosec.pub 46 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Kinda wild that app stores allow something like that. I wonder how long it'll take for someone to build the same up, but with the roles reversed: Men anonymously talking about local women 😬

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 43 points 2 days ago (1 children)

In theory it should be fine the problem is women always assume bad intent on the part of men, and good intent on the part of other women despite a fairly obvious fact that that's ridiculous.

The problem is there doesn't seem to be any system in place for review or correction. What if there someone who just doesn't like me and posts photos and lies about me? Not only would I have no opportunity to correct the record, but unless someone I knew who was on the app told me about it, I wouldn't even know because men aren't allowed on.

[–] Lfrith@lemmy.ca 23 points 2 days ago (2 children)

As someone who's stayed away from creating accounts like Facebook the concept of being encouraged to share photos and real identities of people who haven't consented to being on the social media site is really creepy to me.

Its like some random social media account shows up and you never signed up but a profile for you has already been made and has all these photos you never even shared on there because someone chose to upload them in your place.

I'd rather people choose not to associate with people who don't have an account that has vetted on safety than be opted into something like this without choice.

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[–] simplejack@lemmy.world 116 points 3 days ago (5 children)

Someone saw that Black Mirror episode and said “Let’s make that for real.”

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[–] just_another_person@lemmy.world 145 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Huh...

Part of these types of things generally seem like a well-intentioned idea, but it's also so creepy, scammy, and gross. This data won't stop here by any means, and will be sold or used in a million different even shittier ways. Pretty fucked.

[–] BombOmOm@lemmy.world 143 points 3 days ago (10 children)

It's fine, no reason to sell the data, the service was literally just breached!

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[–] roserose56@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

There is a video in the article, where a a woman says "are we dating the same guy?". Like women don't date multiple men.

Apart form that, things never say secret, soon or later will come out.

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