Asklemmy

never ignore your mental health.

do consider what elders around you say as suggestions and give them a good thought. don't blindly assume it to be wrong or right even it seems so. most often it is somewhere in between.

know your situations and consider the consequence of people you trust breaking it. if the potential consequence is harmful enough to you, try to re-think your decisions.

also, I think you already know this since you're on lemmy, be aware of child grooming. it's better to know the risk than to fall for.

btw what do you mean 11th or 12th? any one of them? I'm curious about your country's school system. you people go to university at 15??

On dates, focus on whether you like them, not whether they like you.

Do not seek advice from online forums. Go to someone you know and trust for advice.

Learn to appreciate small things and curb your hunger for new shiny things. Spend time with people you love, every one goes away quicker than you would expect. Love smile and live! Also happy birthday soon :)

Prioritize having experiences over having possessions. I spent all my money as a teen going to concerts and music festivals and have zero regrets.

Treat your friends well. A decade from now, it'll be a lot harder to make new ones, especially if you haven't maintained the friendships you had when you were younger. At the same time, friendships don't always last forever, and people change; don't keep pouring energy into someone who's pulling away.

Explore hobbies and activities. Consistency is the key to getting really good at something, so try things out to discover what you like and working on that regularly, even if it’s a little bit at a time. It will be helpful to have a foundation by the time you’re an adult and will have less free time. Cooking is a useful skill to learn.

Be mindful of what you post and share online and how it can affect you in the future.

Practice saving money and spending responsibly.

Don’t allow anyone to pressure you into things you aren’t comfortable with, especially to try to get them to like you.

I don't have specific advice for girls, but for teens in general.

This is a tremendously formative time in your life. When you're old, you'll remember moments from this time the best. If you should - god forbid - ever go senile, this part of your life is likely to be the last part that you forget.

It's both the hardest and the best time, and everyone goes through it. My caveat assumes you feel reasonably safe at home: your parents aren't abusive, seem supportive, seem reasonably in control of their lives; if that's true, keep in mind that:

Your parents went through this. Maybe not exactly the same circumstances, but they went through similar things. Similar feelings, urges, needs. They fell in love just as hard, had crushes just as hard, made just as embarrassing mistakes, had just as bitter enemies. They weren't just younger versions of themselves today; they were almost different people. If you feel safe at home, ask them for advice like this, and take internet advice with skepticism. So far this thread seems benign, but as you know, the internet is full of idiots. If you can talk to your parents, do.

If you have a mother: it's common for girls your age to be having strained relationships with your mom. She's going to be the one you want to try to get advice from. She's going to be able to actively help and support you. If you can at all talk to her, try. And remember: most of the embarrassing, private things you have going on, she had to work through them, too. The great thing is that, with your age, it's more likely that they even experimented with their sexuality; assuming your parents were 80s/90s kids, it was starting to become normalized to experiment around then. You'll have a pretty good idea about whether that is possible, knowing your parents.

One last thing on the parents: remember that it's normal for people to go through a period where they are having trouble dealing with their parents. They still seem to treat you like a kid, when you are clearly practically an adult. They want to protect (restrict) you, when you want more freedom. You have your own opinions, and they may not always agree. They think you're too young, and you think you're too old. Friends are way more interesting than your parents, and that's hard for them. Remember: it's OK. Everyone lucky enough to have parents goes through this phase. Your parents are still probably the best support group you have. If it's at all possible too talk to them, do. Over communicate. If they feel like they know what's going on in your life, and the decisions you're making, they're more likely to relax and let you do the things you want. Even if you're angry; no, especially when you're angry. If you ever get into a long term romantic relationship, the ability to communicate while angry will be essential to keeping it healthy. Practice on your parents.

If you have great-grandparents still alive that you love, try to spend time with them. I wish I'd have spent more time asking my Nanna what it was like for her growing up; I didn't care about history when I was young, and now I miss having the opportunity to learn from someone who was born so long ago. You can do the math, and time flies by faster than you think.

You're laying the groundwork for the rest of your life, and this is the age when you really start having some control. It's important to explore and have fun; the next 4 years are your last chance to really play. They're the last years when you don't have to worry about paying rent, paying bills, debt, scheduling your own doctor visits. My advice is to try to enjoy that, and don't feel guilty about it. Put yourself into situations where you can lay down some good memories; like I said, they're the ones that will be the most clear, for the longest.

You will meet many men in your life, and some of them are going to be wonderful. In fact, there will be men who are wonderful in ways you don't even realize until much later.

But there are also entirely too many creeps, and unfortunately, you have to have some ugly experiences to really get a sense of who is and who isn't a good guy. Especially watch out for older men, especially ones who flatter you and tell you how beautiful and mature you are. These guys are everywhere, and girls your age are their prime fixation. If you are careful and lucky, you can learn to spot them without becoming their victim, and without getting pregnant or married.

You've seen those nature shows where the baby sea turtles hatch on shore and have to make it to the water before the hungry birds devour them? You're a little turtle now. Just focus on the water (your goals for your future,) and don't let the bastards gobble you up.

Fail fast and fail forward. Don't be afraid to start, be afraid of looking back having never done anything. Regret is poison.

Learn what the pareto principle is and live by it. Be efficient.

When life gets hard focus on what's in front of you not on the world, ideology, news, thats all distraction. Learn to stay in the moment, what's right here, right now, infront of you.

Cherish loved ones. Focus on your health now. Your health can be gone at a moments notice, life is about balance. Every action has a reaction.

Focus on your strengths not your weaknesses. You have infinite weaknesses. Your strengths will be your lynchpin at times.

Always be curious. Don't lose the will to learn and ask questions. Knowledge is everything.

Always stay moving physically. Stay doing something productive.

Listen to your gut during times of uncertainty. Trust very little of others. Words mean nothing. Actions never lie.

Try to live an analog life

I don't mean just ditch your smartphone or something but just try to decrease your dependence on it

Thank you all for the advices. They are Soo much to reply each person alone. Thanks, I appreciate.

Start planning your path after school and what you need to do to get there. What you want to do for a living versus what can sustain you with a comfortable life, plenty of vacation, and good benefits can be very different. Yes, it more than likely won't be ideal, but it's a whole lot better than struggling to pay the bills.

A job is a job. The more it pays, the more you can do. It's as simple as that.

Not a glamourous one but at 14 my dad said to me « open a 401k » (or equivalent in your country). I laugh at him thinking I was better. Now I’m old and poundering why I didn’t listen to him.

Don’t put all your saving in it maybe a couple of buck a little bit at a time but when you’ll be my age you’ll have a tidy some hopefully to reduce some financial stress

Have fun too, don’t forget that one

Take a pen. Draw a line of 80cm. That's your life. Draw a tick at 14cm. That's where you are.

Life is long.Take your time, don't rush it. It's a marathon, not a sprint.

I won't tell the same thing to a 20 year old, but teens tend to think that life last just a few year and want to rush anything by their 20 🙂

Freeze your eggs by the age of 25