this post was submitted on 15 Jul 2025
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[–] AlecSadler@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

True story. I started studying for a final basically the night before the final, but quickly realized I just wanted to play video games instead.

So I spent an hour and a half pulling up all my previous scores in the class, including two copies of the syllabus from two places just to be sure. I made a spreadsheet (in OpenOffice at the time, haha) laying out the scores and weighting them a few different ways per interpretation of the syllabi.

All models basically indicated I could skip the final and sleep in and, worst case, still pass the class by something like 1.2%. I checked, double checked, triple checked my figures.

...and then I spent the night playing video games and purposely didn't set an alarm the next day.

I was very relieved to have passed the class by the 1.2%.

I was not a good student. I do not advise this. I think I graduated by like 0.1 above the minimum required GPA.

[–] JennyLaFae@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 3 hours ago

You gamed the system to maximize game time. You did good.

[–] antonim@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

...but man, am I bad at math

[–] TheLeadenSea@sh.itjust.works 22 points 20 hours ago (2 children)

And then something unexpected happens and you're five minutes late

[–] ignotum@lemmy.world 17 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

But at that point it was completely out of your control, there was nothing you could have done

[–] monkeyslikebananas2@lemmy.world 7 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago)

5 minutes, 3 hours. at that point what’s the difference?

[–] TheReanuKeeves@lemmy.world 5 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago) (1 children)

It's human nature to act like you're in a really bad horror movie when you're crunched for time.

Wake up and spill your glass of water

Put your underwear on backwards and don't notice until you're fully dressed

Drop the toothpaste cap down the drain

Need to poop but constipated

Make a mess putting together your smoothie then drop it on the floor when you're done

Put your shoes on and realize you don't know where your car keys are

Find them in the freezer beside your dead parakeet you plan on burying later

Drop the keys locking your front door

Drop the keys unlocking your car

Drop the keys between your seat and centre console, but it's ok because you have a push to start

Hit every red light

Stuck behind legally blind geriatrics the whole drive

Get out of the car and spill your coffee

Close the door and remember your keys are still in the devil's crack aka between the seat and centre console

Scrape up your hand reaching into the crack and accidentally wipe blood on your white dress shirt

15 minutes late for work but it's ok. You remember you were fired last week for being chronically late.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 4 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Are these supposed to be individual events or a sequence?

Either way, I hate it.

Close the door and remember your keys are still in the devil's crack aka between the seat and centre console

Once I did this after leaving my car windows cracked overnight. When I reached down to retrieve them, I crushed a roach under my fingers. I hated it. And didn't feel clean the rest of the day.

Scrape up your hand reaching into the crack and accidentally wipe blood on your white dress shirt

Once I did almost this. I filled my car with gas on the way to work, tripped on the gas hose, shredded my pants, skinned my knee and got blood all over my white dress shirt. I hated it. Fortunately my then-boss was understanding.

Need to poop but constipated

This happens to me a lot. I hate it.

Get out of the car and spill your coffee

I don't drink coffee. It's too bitter. I hate it.

[–] TheReanuKeeves@lemmy.world 1 points 10 hours ago

It's the exact sequence that lead to the birth of the joker

[–] Jakeroxs@sh.itjust.works 5 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

And end up being late every day anyway ✅

[–] Fiivemacs@lemmy.ca 4 points 15 hours ago

funny because my work is literally 30 seconds from my bed and I'm still late :(

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemmy.zip 4 points 17 hours ago

Exactly literally this!

Making a plan & figuring out which activities to cut to still make it in time to get to the office I was supposed be at 30 minutes ago.

[–] AlexLost@lemmy.world 2 points 14 hours ago

You guys are on time?

[–] knight_alva@lemmy.world 5 points 18 hours ago

Get out of bed early

Log in to work laptop

Go back to bed

Sleep in that much longer

Profit

[–] SayJess@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Every. Fucking. Night. (I work 3rd shift)

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 1 points 19 hours ago
[–] Lembot_0004@discuss.online 1 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

ФА -1 +1

That's not a very difficult calculation.

[–] Sadbutdru@sopuli.xyz 1 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

What's the answer then, smartypants?

[–] Lembot_0004@discuss.online 1 points 16 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Sadbutdru@sopuli.xyz 1 points 15 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Lembot_0004@discuss.online 1 points 15 hours ago

They will tell you about algebra when you move to 3-4th grade.