this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2025
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[–] EfreetSK@lemmy.world 186 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Why waste time like this? Wouldn't it be better if cinemas would use vertical screens where a popular youtuber would describe the plot of the movie in like 30 seconds while talking at 2x speed?

[–] Quokka@quokk.au 67 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Or they could put subway surfers on the bottom half of the screen.

[–] WizardofFrobozz@lemmy.ca 3 points 4 days ago

What is a subway surfer

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[–] Luccus@feddit.org 38 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

*an AI describes part of a scene in a movie, badly.

And the title is something like “HE USES SUPERPOWERS TO SAVE HIS FRIEND #MOVIE #FILM #CINEMA #SHORTS”. Also, the name of the channel is any two word combination of: movie, cinema, star, summary, domain or reels. And each upload is either 15 to 25 minutes or a short and the channel uploads something every day.

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 9 points 5 days ago

And the audience comments could scroll by on the side! Brilliant!

[–] istdaslol@feddit.org 147 points 5 days ago (1 children)

And also add a subway surfer with family guy funny Momentes for the ultimate goldfish experience

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 50 points 5 days ago (2 children)

And a live comment section. Or even synced commentary streams by YouTubers you can view on your phone via their Wi-Fi? You're paying to see the movie anyway, so they won't be limited by fair use.

[–] lime@feddit.nu 14 points 5 days ago (1 children)

niconico-style comments that fly across the screen

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[–] gerryflap@feddit.nl 101 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Look, I am the type who watches lectures at 1.25x or 1.5x speed or something. But movies? It'd ruin the pacing. If you can't bring up the attention to watch a movie then maybe you just shouldn't

[–] AlteredEgo@lemmy.ml 13 points 5 days ago (1 children)

What if we invented drugs that allow you to enjoy any content 1.5 times faster?

[–] gerryflap@feddit.nl 4 points 4 days ago

Maybe that'd just make the content 1.5 times longer and 1.5 times more expensive

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 77 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Why waste time watching an entire movie when you can just read the spoilers and know what's it about in less than 5 minutes?

[–] daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 4 days ago

Absolutely not me watching cinemasins as a substitute to watching the whole movie.

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 23 points 4 days ago (3 children)

I hate watching anything faster than normal. I want bad things to happen to this person.

[–] biggerbogboy@sh.itjust.works 10 points 4 days ago (2 children)

do you want bad things to happen to OOP at 1.5x speed?

[–] Honytawk@feddit.nl 10 points 4 days ago

No, more like 0.5x speed so we can savour it

[–] Pulptastic@midwest.social 7 points 4 days ago
[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

this user, right here, what?

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[–] Krauerking@lemy.lol 13 points 4 days ago (1 children)

How much crap are you watching if you have to speed it up to get through it all?

[–] humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago

The dopamine must flow!

[–] Soapbox@lemmy.zip 8 points 4 days ago

I can kind of understand the people who speed up audiobooks and podcasts. But movies? That's nuts. |

I wonder if OP was alive during the VCR era. I bet they would have loved the FF button. AKA chipmunk mode.

[–] burgerpocalyse@lemmy.world 12 points 4 days ago

this person needs to beblocked into the Clockwork Orange device

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 36 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Theaters and opera, too. I'm sure the actors will be willing to get their shifts cut by 20-50 % if we help them negotiate the same pay per performance.

[–] ExploitedAmerican@lemmy.world 13 points 5 days ago

Omfg most musical thester people can barely play anything with 16th notes past 120bpm this will not end well lol

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 21 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Does this person not pay for their ticket? It costs 15$ for a ticket at our theater. Why would I want to waste that money by having it sped up? It's hard enough finding movies that are worth watching in the first place.

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[–] alsaaas@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 5 days ago (1 children)

The industrial revolution and it's consequences....

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[–] phantomwise@lemmy.ml 23 points 5 days ago (10 children)

If you look at old silent movies, they were played at different speeds in different cinemas and projections. There wasn't a standard way to play a movie, no "you NEED to play the movie at this specific speed or it will be ruined". I'm not saying the same should apply to modern movies, but I find it interesting.

[–] breecher@sh.itjust.works 7 points 4 days ago

That is not true. There was a standard, which is different from todays standard. Which is why it looks funny being played at todays standard, but mostly they get digitally fixed and they look completely natural now.

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[–] latenightnoir@lemmy.blahaj.zone 22 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I... what? I'm suddenly very happy for David Lynch, that he didn't live long enough to see this catch on...

[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 9 points 5 days ago (2 children)

It hasn't...caught on? People have just stopped going to movies as much, and I don't think 4 concurrent showings of the new Jurassic Park movie at speeds 1x thru 2x are saving them.

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[–] TabbsTheBat@pawb.social 20 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] Quokka@quokk.au 7 points 5 days ago (1 children)

YouTube added customisable speeds recently!

I find 1.4 to be enjoyable, but 2x if I need to get through something dense.

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[–] rollerbang@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago

For obvious reasons this will never happen. That being said, I do the same with most content. When YouTube I use from 1.25 as an absolute minimum to 2.0 a lot of the time. Average being 1.5. For movies/series I tend to opt for 1.25-1.33.

But this all fails when any music is involved - then I dial it down to 1.0.

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