I have a diagnosis but meds didn't work, possibly because i live a pretty much sheltered life and was never forced into work, i did some jobs but i never lasted more than a year. The last 3 years i spent smoking weed and postponing my waking up. Now i'm trying psychotherapy again and i've been prescribed efexor.

But i feel more hopeless and spent than ever. I can't feel interest nor curiosity about anything. Social interactions are pain, and what's worse is that even with my closest friends it is now like that. I just feel like I'm not interested or capable of conversing with them, cause I feel no interest in any thing anymore....

[–] Daft_ish@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So maybe you need to artificially create some sort of panic in your life. I look at your life and am jealous of the things discribe but you seem to be wanting in on what Im going through. So if that's the case just need to be constantly panicked about something.

[–] SparrowHawk@feddit.it 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

But i am panicked about everything, about my brain fog, my incapability of communicating or even wanting to comunicate with people, inability to cope with the world materially and morally crumbling down.

And mostly, panicked about my inability to not feel numb constantly about my panic

[–] Daft_ish@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Im not a medical professional, first off. I dont really think you need to be panicked Im just saying you need something inside telling you this is urgent. That thing needs to float above all other things. For me, its easy because from the moment I wake up and its not there I will immediately lose my job and spiral out. Its an exaggeration, but really its not. If that drive isn't there every waking moment its like letting go of the wheel while Im driving through the mountains. Sure I might make it 10-20ft.

But Id also say, its not great.

[–] SparrowHawk@feddit.it 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Mmm i get it know yeah, that stimuli that pushes you forward, fear can be harnessed and not just be a stopping force. Gotta say with the antidepressants starting to work i feel like i have the eneegy to feel and think something else other than desperation, finally

[–] Daft_ish@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

That was my problem off the meds. The intrusive thoughts were constant and crippling. Sure Id like to be un-tethered to this medication but I would really just be taking off the leash and shackling on a chain.

[–] SparrowHawk@feddit.it 2 points 1 week ago

A fitting metaphor, if bleak

[–] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

I’m not a doctor, but what you’re describing sounds very much like clinical depression to me. So I’m wondering if maybe your dose of Effexorneeds to be adjusted. Again, I am not a medical professional in any way shape or form also, for me personally, I was smoking weedfor the first six months after I got diagnosed in addition to taking the Adderall. The weed almost completely Counteracted all the beneficial effects of the Adderall. Once I got off it, I am now my best self that I have ever been. I don’t drink, I don’t smoke. I don’t do any of that stuff anymore and I no longer feel the urge.

[–] SparrowHawk@feddit.it 2 points 3 weeks ago

I don't know if i have depression, but i starter to get curious about gender dysphoria and many things seem to resonate. Depersonalization and derealization mostly...i know there are comorbidities but it feels like a rouge to investigate

I havent gotten the chance to start efexor yet. Tomorrow ill have it tho.

Also your feedback on weed was helpful, when i start stimulants again i will do my best not to smoke

Thank you

[–] MTK@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Wrong! I was only 27 when I got diagnosed 💪💪

[–] zenforyen@feddit.org 3 points 1 month ago

Haha, about the same. Now 32 and feel like I'm the best I've ever been since diagnosis and medication 💪

[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Yep. I wasn’t diagnosed until I was like 35.

[–] Ataraxia@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Oh well.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 3 points 1 month ago

Yeah, and what's difficult is that real improvement is possible, but you get stuck in this rut where you view attempts to improve yourself as pointless.

[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Damn. The ADHD memes need to chill.

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[–] lowered_lifted@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

but ADHD meds don't work on me

[–] astropenguin5@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (5 children)

How many have you tried? Also it never fixes everything, like for me it mostly just helps with maintaining focus on things, but executive function is still fucked.

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[–] Ghyste@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 weeks ago

Only 30? I'm still waiting at 42...

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