memes

-Curly

-Onion Ring (isn't really tater but I love them)

-Waffle

-Shoestring

-Sweet potato

-Zigzag (crinkle cut)

-Wedges

-Tots

Honestly though if im only stuck with the last three I won't even eat them-

Why not #9?

1. Waffle fries (always crispy and delicious)
2. Curly fries (same)
3. Tater tots (surprisingly good)
4. Wedges, if properly spiced
5. Good onion rings
6. Shoestring, if not limp
7. Bad onion rings
8. Bad wedges
9. Crinkle cut (zigzag) (usually unflavored and soggy from a bag, but can be better than soggy shoestrings)
10. Bad shoestrings
11. Sweet potato fries (always soggy and I don't like sweet potato very much)

1. Tater tots are basically an entire potential meal of their own. Not a French fry, but I may actually prefer them as a possible main dish.

2. The best French fries. They are the perfect side.

3. If you want to fancy it up a bit. Suitable for formal occasions.

4. Taking the one-dimensional line of the French fry and extrapolating it out to two dimensions. Still a good ketchup conveyance, but starting to get into the issue I'm going to bring up with...

5, 6, 7. Not a good enough ratio of crispy outer fried surface to gooey potato inner. I prefer crisp, but when I bite one of these, I have a good chance of just getting a mouthful of scalding hot potato napalm, or what's worse, cold potato cement. Not ideal.

'8. Yeccch.

Yes. To all of them.

5 - 8 - 4 - 2 - 1 - 3 - 7 - 6

I'm really not a big white potato fan but sweet potatoes and onions are delicious

I'm not too fussy about my deep fried treats. They're all no. 1 in my book. Except sweet potato, they can fuck off. They taste fine, but why are they always soggy?

8, 2 4, 3, 1, 6, 7, 5

Assuming they onion rings are beer batter and the curly fries are from Arby's.

1, 7, 6, 4, 8, 3, 2, 5

My vote is on number 10: Röstis

5 8 7 2 4 1 6 3

47123685

list is missing Fried Tofu

since we're apparently just including any random fuckin food you can fry

2: Top tier. I would suck a curly fry-wrapped dick as a side dish to my communion.

8: As pictured, yes. With their typical batter style that allows the onion to slide out? Fucking garbage. 1: A solid choice that reheats well and consistently delivers the yum.

7: Tasty and a fun puzzle as you try to reconstruct the potato.

3: Plain tots? Fuck outa here. Bump that shit up with some totchos.

4: Good in theory, dry as fuck in practice. Texture is inconsistent and offensive to autism.

5: What the fuck is wrong with you? Deadass. Explain your trauma to me.

6: Somehow chalk that reheats into more chalk. Your mom said not to fast food and then pulled these out the oven. Worse than a sweet potato fry.

Where are the cheese curds? Fucking profligates is deep fried cheese too good for ya?

I'm gonna have to lock in Onion Rings as my final answer.

Most of these are good, just for different things. I want waffle fries at the bar; I want shoestring fries at the burger place; I want wedges at the cafe on the corner.

Except the zigzags. I don't think I've ever had a good zigzag.

What the heck kind of list is this?

Where are the steak fries?

If we are rating the best type of fries then onion rings are last, being that they aren't even potato.

I’ll just take whatever. I’m not picky.

1-4, 6-8 YESSSSSSS 5 NO!

Best to worst:

• wedges (like a mini baked potato, but better!)

• shoestring (a tried & true classic)

• curly (the perfect blend of potato & seasoning)

• zigzag (sometimes can be a bit mushy)

• tots (sometimes give me heartburn for some reason)

• waffle (often don’t get cooked all the way, if they stick together)

• onion rings (a decent alternative to potato based side, but I can’t eat more than a few)

• sweet potato (they just don’t fry right. The texture gets weird and the taste is off)

1,5,7,8,3,4,2,6

Seasoned fries for robbed