Dads who didn't want pets - a classic : cat

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 214 points 3 weeks ago (6 children)

As a Dad who doesn't want more pets, I'd just like to clear something up.

We don't dislike animals. Our heart doesn't grow three sizes when you bring one home and catch us cuddling with it two days later.

I fucking LOVE animals, and I will cuddle the fuck out of anything that would let me, but I also know that nobody else in the house will make sure it's fed and cleaned up after. So, no you can't bring another animal home because I've already got enough on my plate, but when you do it anyway, be prepared for it to be MY little buddy.

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 130 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Obligatory pic of one of my 4 little buddies.

[–] riquisimo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I love your little buddy.

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[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 60 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Exactly. I will add that as much as I love animals I really hate the loss of them to the point I basically don't want to get them each time. All the get lots of animals folks seem super heartless in some ways. Yeah your sad but not I never want to go through it again sad. I also feel guilty that I can never give the animals quite enough. Not enough walkies. Not giving them enough attention.

[–] Nelots@lemmy.zip 26 points 3 weeks ago (7 children)

You gotta move on through the grief, accept that they're no longer with you, but that you gave them the best life you could. And maybe realize that giving another pet a good life doesn't mean you're replacing or forgetting your last one. Some people are just better at it than others, they aren't being heartless.

That said, people who get a new dog a week or two after their previous one died are insane to me. That just feels disrespectful.

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 26 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

We got a new cat a week after our very old one died because the apartment was so achingly empty without her. She'd basically raised our kids and was perfect in every way. She was ill for long enough at the end for us to take time telling her that, and grieve while caring for her and loving on her and waiting until the first available time for the home vet to come so she wouldn't have to go anywhere. And whisper it again into her fur as she took her last breath.

Afterward we looked around at all the things we had to make her comfortable and realized that while no one could ever replace her, there were other old cats sitting in shelter cages who needed love too.

We went to the city shelter and wound up with a cat who is disabled, can't jump and needed all her teeth extracted. So we paid for that, and brought her home.

Soon after, we somehow also ended up with a feisty stray kitten.

Miss Perfection's ashes are on a shelf, and I tear up when they catch my eye, but the misfits give us an outlet for all the love she taught us.

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[–] EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com 7 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

but that you gave them the best life you could. And maybe realize that giving another pet a good life doesn’t mean you’re replacing or forgetting your last one.

I've told myself that the cats under my care are the top 1% of the 1% of animals. I would go as far as saying that they have it better than most of the 8B people on this planet. They have comfort, safety, abundance, and entertainment. I go the extra mile for them to ensure that they have a high quality of life.

When I have gotten another cat after one died, it was never a replacement. It was giving a home to cat who needed one. A cat sitting in a shelter waiting for their chance. And I tend to adopt animals that are harder to place due to age or other factors (e.g. "does not get along with dogs or kids") that are a non-issue for me.

Losing them is hard, but not adopting them doesn't prevent their eventual death. It just means that the death happens "off camera," and quite possibly much sooner.

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[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I get you gotta move on, but the fact is if you have one that loss is coming again. 10 years? 20? Worse yet single digit. Then if they outlive you its even worse.

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[–] entwine413@lemm.ee 24 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Plus, it's going to die one day, and that really sucks.

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 18 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Or you end up spending hundreds to make sure it doesn't, and then it still dies anyway.

[–] AltheaHunter@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 3 weeks ago

hundreds? more like thousands...

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[–] blazeknave@lemmy.world 16 points 3 weeks ago

Talking to another mom about our menageries on school trip. Me: wow! She takes care of all those reptiles?! I can't even get the fish fed or litter box cleaned over here Her: oh, no. Not at all. By "she has," I mean "I care for"

[–] Sc00ter@lemm.ee 11 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Im right there with you. I didnt want our second dog. My wife was certain she did. Now his seperation anxiety is so bad that hes on puppy prozac and needs something cleaned up every day because we both work. And guess whos doing all the feeding, cleaning, medicine, and baths? Guess who wants to get rid of him? And guess who he follows around and will literally sit on?

Edit: grammar

[–] nucleative@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago

Was about to make this point as well but you nailed it. I don't want to bring the pet home because I KNOW I will love it.

[–] Yerbouti@sh.itjust.works 69 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

I'm a dad who loves cats. My dad, who dislikes pets, keeps asking me about my next travel cause it's fine, he will take care of Figaro if I really need him to.

[–] dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Is your cat named after the Mozart opera?

I went for classical composers for mine. Had Mozart and Sergei (Rachmaninov).

[–] JacksonLamb@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago

That way you could call it🎵 "Figaro, Figaro, FIG-a-ro" 🎶

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[–] kuberoot@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

To be fair, taking care of a pet temporarily is an entirely different matter to having a pet permanently. I wouldn't trust myself to care for a pet day by day for years, but taking on that responsibility for a few days while also getting the benefit of having an already trained pet for that time?

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[–] Notyou@sopuli.xyz 6 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Hey! You should show off how awesome Figaro is by showing a pic. Check out one of mine.

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[–] MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca 45 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I let my cats smell every meal before I eat it. Regardless if they like the smells or not, they're always interested in what I'm doing and what I have.

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 15 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Same here. They have a way of saying, "Hey, I want to smell that!" and it's adorable.

[–] MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

If yours are anything like my tortoiseshell, it's a loud and clear message. They will run over and give a distinct meow, but they're very communicative in general.

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Aww, that's so cute. Mine will sit, look up, and gently pretend to smell the air. If they're very interested, they'll lift their front paws and rest one one my leg. It gets me every time.

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[–] Bunnylux@lemmy.world 32 points 3 weeks ago

Very well, I approve, you may put the item away.

Cat

[–] SnarkoPolo@lemmy.world 26 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Cats have a way of inserting themselves into your life, don't they?

[–] JuxtaposedJaguar@lemmy.ml 22 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It's funny how some cats will constantly enter your personal space but act so offended when they want to be alone. God forbid I try to pet her when she doesn't want to be touched, but she shoves her head under my hands while I'm doing something else.

[–] ZeffSyde@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago

I see you haven't studied the Ancient Scrolls of Cat Chivalry...

: dumps out a pile of wadded up newsprint and proceeds to bat it all under the settei.:

[–] doctordevice@lemmy.ca 26 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

That's good enrichment right there! Cats love to investigate new and interesting smells within their territory.

[–] PixTupy@lemmy.ml 18 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

We got a chair in the kitchen we started announcing as the sniffing station, cause she sits there every time we come from grocery shopping and waits to be allowed to sniff things. So now if we say "sniffing station everybody!" she runs to it and waits for new things to sniff.

[–] doctordevice@lemmy.ca 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

That's awesome, I love how excited cats are about their favorite routines. Does she ever go sit there and look at you like she's asking for something to sniff?

[–] PixTupy@lemmy.ml 8 points 3 weeks ago

Oh yeah, definetely, it's too cute.

[–] Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org 9 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

And they're specifically interested in what we eat. At least all of mine have been. I actually do the same thing with groceries and also cooked meals 😄

[–] AnarchistArtificer@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago

My cat would sometimes act as if she was anxious for our wellbeing while we were eating (this started after she surreptitiously tasted some food that she clearly did not enjoy the taste of.)

[–] doctordevice@lemmy.ca 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Definitely, my cats love to sniff all of my cooked meals. I'll bring it to them if they're lounging to pay the sniff tax!

I normally set the grocery bags down when I get home and let them investigate before I put stuff away.

[–] Gustephan@lemmy.world 22 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I used to have an old man cat that was like that. He wanted to sniff everything that came in the house; not super urgently but he was always interested. It got hard for him to walk eventually and my girlfriend would always poke fun at me for carrying him around and holding him up to each new thing so he could investigate. He seemed happy about it though, he never stopped being interested in investigating

[–] doctordevice@lemmy.ca 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

What a warm, loving thing to do for your companion. He got to keep some normalcy with the added comfort of being held by his person. Thank you for sharing, that made me happy.

[–] Gustephan@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago

:) I am glad that brought you a smile. I'm sure Chizz would love to know he's still making people smile through stories about him. He was a real one

[–] JacksonLamb@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

I used to do this with my old girl. I would carry her in my arms around the garden and she would indicate by leaning if she wanted to go towards something.

She used to make me spend ages standing under trees with her. I think in her mind we were stalking birds.

[–] Slovene@feddit.nl 18 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

The number of people talking about their cats but not posting pics in this thread is too damn high!

[–] MehBlah@lemmy.world 15 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Fine meet Bender Bending Rodríguez.

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[–] beveradb@sh.itjust.works 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

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[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

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[–] Colalextrast@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

As a (soon to be) dad who doesn't want any more pets, it's not cause I don't like animals. I love animals... maybe too much, cause I just don't know how many more I can bury.

Maybe I need to get a pet that will outlive me. Something cuddly with a lifespan of like 60-80 years

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[–] baltakatei@sopuli.xyz 7 points 3 weeks ago

It is not a contradiction to refuse your child's desire for you to adopt a cat and to love a cat. If you force a parent to adopt a cat, they will resent you for foisting an unwanted burden on them. However, the cat has no say in the matter, so it makes no sense to resent or punish the cat. Your parent developing a loving relationship with the pet you forced on them does not absolve you of your imposition.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 6 points 3 weeks ago

My dad didn't want pets when I was a kid. He was the only person the cat would lie on top of on the sofa when watching tv. Kitty owned him.