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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Outrageous_Girls on 2025-06-06 07:51:49+00:00.
A few years ago when I was working as a kitchen hand in a quirky seafood bistro run by a chef who I swear was riding a power high from too much espresso and way too many anchovies.
Part of my gig involved gutting and prepping fish in the back before service kicked off. One day, the head chef barges in, his face as red as a lobster, because someone had the audacity to complain that I was "wasting time washing my hands too often."
I had just finished cleaning three sea bass, and let me tell you, my hands smelled like Poseidon's armpit. But Chef, in all his wisdom, bellowed “You don’t need to wash your hands after every fish! You’re slowing down the kitchen! Wash them at the end, not in between!”
I paused, locked eyes with him, and replied, “Got it.” For the next week, I prepped fish, shelled shrimp, dealt with squid guts, and scaled mackerel all without washing my hands until the very end. I followed that rule like it was the holy grail. It didn’t matter if I had to carry plates, touch pantry ingredients, or help plate a dish. I did it all with Eau de Halibut on my fingers.
It took just three days before the sous chef nearly lost her lunch into the mop bucket after I handed her a lemon wedge. Then, on day five, a health inspector decided to drop by unannounced.
The chef ended up with a $2,000 fine and a temporary downgrade on the sanitation score.
He never mentioned handwashing to me again.