Man, the uk is a silly place
this post was submitted on 29 Mar 2025
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Yeah, i mean if someone really wants to decapitate someone they can just go to the next best hardware store and get a chainsaw. This is so pointless.
Yeah, i mean if someone really wants to decapitate someone they can just go to the next best hardware store and get a chainsaw.
https://archive.is/52YjV#selection-515.0-533.242
Butter knife 'an offensive weapon'
A butter knife can be an offensive weapon, the High Court ruled yesterday.
The decision came in the rejection of an appeal by Charlie Brooker, of Welling, Kent, who had been convicted under the Criminal Justice Act of carrying a bladed instrument.
Mark Hardie, appearing for Brooker, argued that the knife had no handle, sharp edges or points and therefore could not fall foul of a law intended to protect people from dangerous weapons.
But Lord Justice Laws, sitting with Mr Justice David Steel, disagreed. He said: "I would accept that a sharp or pointed blade was the paradigm case - however the words of the statute are unqualified and refer to any article that has a blade."
I will bet you that Parliament would be willing to impose a ban on possession of a chainsaw without just cause.
Playing devil's advocate, chainsaws are used for cutting trees and other tasks, they are not inherently a weapon unlike a sword (these are similar arguments to the ones used about gun control). I do find it silly to ban weeb swords, but mostly because I don't think they're ever really used for crimes? Or did I miss some info about a wave of ninja murders in the UK?
I don’t think they’re ever really used for crimes?
Yeah there are probably more deaths from chainsaws than those swords. But yeah ofcourse in this case there is no legal use case other than artistic value. For things like folding knives tho there are lots of good legal uses and they are still banned.
I think you're only banned from carrying locking knives (or big knives) in public without a good reason, so on the very off-chance you were questioned by plod then "I'm a tradie going to work" or whatever should be a fine explanation.
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This will probably be a reaction to the Hainault sword attack last year which resulted in the murder of a schoolboy, attempted murder of others in the street, and an attack on a sleeping family, using a samurai sword. The trial is due to start tomorrow.
They are unfortunately being used by children, who understandably think they look sick as shit, to murder each other. Here are some "highlights":
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Last amnesty a company handed in 1.5 million machetes and claimed the compensation for them despite importing the weapons themselves in the weeks before the ban. Pure profiteering.
I hope the police have learned something but somehow doubt they have.
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Are they actually called Ninja Swords in the legislation because if so, that's hilarious.
Yes, they are literally called Ninja swords in the legislation.
Yes, it is hilarious.
"This is a samurai sword, I'll have you know. 😤"
This "Ninja sword" is apparently a straight sword:
2.4. The legal definition that we tested as part of this consultation was as follows:
A fixed bladed article with a blade between 14-24 inches (the length of the blade being the straight-line distance from the top of the handle to the tip of the blade) with:
(i) A single straight cutting edge; and;
It sounds like most katanas and such, what I think people probably normally think of when they think of a "ninja sword", are already banned under existing legislation, as they're curved-edge, rather than straight-edge:
https://www.katanamart.co.uk/content/27-uk-samurai-sword-law
Samurai and other curved Swords
On April 6th 2008 a law came into effect banning samurai and other curved swords with a blade length of 50 cm or more; there are some exceptions for registered martial artists, re-enactors and even certain genuine Japanese swords.
Here is to the law:
An amendment to this act was passed, which came into effect on the 1st of August 2008. It allows curved and samurai swords which are handmade using traditional forging/production methods to be sold without a license.
Apparently the Japanese did use straight swords for a while.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chokut%C5%8D
Maybe the issue here is that importers avoided their previous restrictions by selling straight swords, and they're making a new class to catch those and for God-knows-what-reason are calling it a "Ninja sword".
Ninja swords are not actually a real thing, so what exactly is this banning?
2.4. The legal definition that we tested as part of this consultation was as follows:
A fixed bladed article with a blade between 14-24 inches (the length of the blade being the straight-line distance from the top of the handle to the tip of the blade) with:
(i) A single straight cutting edge; and;
(ii) A tanto style point - by tanto style point, we mean a point which is created by the cutting-edge changing direction in a short (relative to the overall length of the blade) straight line, with an angle (between the primary long cutting edge and secondary short cutting edge at the tip) greater than 90 degrees and continuing up to form a point of less than 90 degree, where the secondary short cutting edge meets the spine. The secondary short cutting edge should not deviate in length more than 5% more or less than the width of the blade immediately after the hilt; or
(iii) A reversed tanto style point – by reverse tanto style point, we mean a point which is created by the cutting-edge changing direction in a short (relative to the overall length of the blade) straight line, with an angle (between the primary long cutting edge and secondary short cutting edge at the tip) less than 90 degrees and continuing up to form a point of greater than 90 degree, where the secondary short cutting edge meets the spine. The secondary short cutting edge should not deviate in length more than 5% more or less than the width of the blade immediately after the hilt.
So what about blades 13 inches or 25 inches in length?
They do not appear to be banned under this legislation.
It just occurred to me maybe the headline is about sword-owners who are ninjas, which totally changes the meaning.
Why are they banning knives and swords category by category (e.g., zombie knives, ninja swords) instead of a broader ban?
Because you don’t want to take the risk in case Excalibur is still out there somewhere.
To just piss off a small group at a time.
It's quite effective if you want to roll out unpopular things, keep the scope small and start with obvious things that most people agree with, then keep expanding using previous legislation as foundation.
Performance art.
Anything in the UK carried for the intent to harm another person is a weapon. I do lots of low impact woodland/forest work. Axes, saws etc. in my bag. If I carried them to a Birmingham park to murder someone they would be weapons and not allowed. If I carry them into a woodland I have a contract to manage, they are tools and allowed.
These extra rules/laws don't change the above. The swords could still have been outlawed as weapons by the legal system.
But... doing this means the perl clutches can sleep easy knowing "something is being done"
They are responding to crimes being committed. This helps, and minimises the scope of the law. But, it doesn’t solve root cause.
For the first time in my life I am truly incentivised to go on a quest to steal a sword.
I'm sure there a strange woman lying in a pond somewhere that can be of assistance.
So does mean samurai swords too, those decorative ones I have on a three tier mount like these?
https://www.southernswords.co.uk/samurai-three-sword-table-stand.html
Googled what a tanto end is and I'm unsure if it applies to them. Help?
No, you don't have anything wink wink
......closes curtains permanently.......
Oi, yew got a curtain loicense?
This "joke" has been co-opted by xenophobic conservative Americans so often that I really struggle to appreciate it, even when you use it rather innocently like here. I'm not even a Brit and have grown quite tired of it. It comes from the same bag as cheese eating surrender monkeys for the French.
Look, they get to make fun of us for our shootings, we get to make fun of them for their loicenses for everything. It's a fair trade.
cheese eating surrender monkeys for the French.
That's actually xenophobic because the French kick ass when they feel like it. Hell, they're basically the only reason America won independence.
I'm all for friendly ribbing, just a bit tired of this particular one because I saw it used in unsavoury ways too many times (I'd probably argue the same about school shootings jabs, even if that's a bit different). Just spreading a bit of awareness about it, I could tell you weren't being mean or actually using this as a xenophobic argument, but others before you have.
As a curved blade I think they're all already banned, so this law does nothing to you
Pretty sure they mean this upswept point at the end: 
Which I'm also pretty sure means the ones you have are targeted by this law and it's a good idea to surrender them.
If they're blunt or made before 1954, you're good.
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