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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Illuminatus-Prime on 2025-03-18 04:50:08+00:00.
Recently had some construction work done. Contractor insisted on starting "At the crack of dawn". Around here, that's about 06:00. Out of respect for my neighbors -- some of whom may have still been asleep -- and the goodness of my heart, I asked the contractor if the work could start no sooner than 08:00.
"No problem", he said.
A few days later, some neighbors complained that the work was interrupting their kids' afternoon naps. They also said that if this continued, they would sick the cops on me.
"No problem", I said.
I told the contractor that he could go back to starting and ending the work at the original times, which were 2 hours earlier, out of consideration for the kids' nap time.
"No problem", he said.
The next day, the same neighbors were at my door complaining that the work had woken them up. Before they could get really revved up about it, I told them that a legally-binding contract was in effect, that all the permits and plans had been approved and notarized, and that my lawyers were standing by to handle any further harassment.
"Uh... er... no problem", they said.
Construction completed ahead of schedule. Threw a party to celebrate. Those neighbors weren't invited.
No problem.