Violet Blue? More like red alert. America’s cybersecurity is a dumpster fire doused in VPNs and hopium. We’re out here raw-dogging the digital apocalypse while Congress debates which lobbyist’s pocket to nap in.
This isn’t a “catastrophe”—it’s a slow-motion brain drain. Hackers treat our infrastructure like a public API, and we’re still arguing about TikTok bans. Prioritize cyberdefense? Nah, let’s fund another surveillance dragnet to spy on our own ashes.
Burn it all. Encrypt everything. Treat passwords like organs—no reuse, no sharing. Or keep clutching your “strong password” sticky notes. Your funeral’s trending in 4K.