this post was submitted on 13 Jan 2025
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I have decided to write down the reasoning behind me not (yet) closing my Facebook account. Which I really want to do, but feel like I cannot (yet).

My background: software developer.

What I use Facebook for: to keep up to date with family and friends.

In other words: I do not need "outside" people to see my posts. Not everything has to be shared with everyone for me.

I have noticed a lot of people opening up bluesky accounts "because it is not meta", (which is a good thing, obviously).

The only issue is that the fediverse is a twitter (I refuse the name X) platform. Everything is public. On friendica, I can at least control who follows me, but I cannot determine who can see my posts.

So in my case, what happens is that some people might open a bsky/fediverse account, realize that everything is public and not use it again.

Why does the fediverse not have a privacy control to limit who can see and interact with your posts? While I do realize that with the Federation protocol everything is sort of public, this is the thing that keeps me from moving from fb to fediverse.

Edit: Holy crap guys, thank you for all the responses. The fediverse is aliiiive.

Too much to respond to, but:

1: yes i know fb is evil 2: as soon as the friend updates end, i stop scrolling. No desire to see all the stupid diy "tips". 3: yes it sounds lame to use it to keep updated, but there is quite some distance between me and my friends and family 4: even if mastodon has the ability to not make posts public, every node admin can access the database. And I think that goes for every Federated platform, diaspora included.

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[–] Trilobite@lemm.ee 2 points 3 weeks ago

I deleted it and have no regrets, I couldn't even say what I want without hearing someone from my family and I don't care what crazy shit my family has to say I don't even like them

[–] doingthestuff@lemy.lol 2 points 3 weeks ago

I have FB for (by priority):

My job's business profile I have to help manage (for now).

Communication with extended family and a couple of friends from years ago I don't live near anymore.

Rarely, marketplace.

I hate messenger and have myself set on permanently unavailable. I wish I could keep my basic FB but completely disconnect from it.

I don't post anything on my personal page.

I've never had an Instagram or used it. I have an okay VR but have never even looked into meta. I have Steam.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

I hate Facebook. Haven't used it for years, but a bare-bones profile sits there because of VR. But now I had the shocking thought of trying it for dating, because the alternative is the shitfest that is the Match Group monopoly on personal relationships. Neither is terribly appealing. Sucks.

[–] _haha_oh_wow_@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 weeks ago

Kinda sounds like you might like Mastodon then.

[–] kbal@fedia.io 1 points 3 weeks ago

Akkoma and probably others like Misskey I assume do have follower-only posts and they do get used by some people who like to communicate with a small group and otherwise keep things private.

[–] Rentlar@lemmy.ca 1 points 3 weeks ago

I have still my FB account, messenger and whatsapp. I refuse to sign up for Instagram, which is a little awkward because so many in my generation use it...

I try to occasionally be connected but I do it through Beeper so that I don't need the battery-draining data-zucking apps on my phone, since it interacts via a Matrix bridge hosted for me.

[–] JupiterRowland@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 weeks ago

Why does the fediverse not have a privacy control to limit who can see and interact with your posts?

It does. The Fediverse is more than Mastodon and Lemmy.

Especially Hubzilla and (streams) with their advanced permissions systems provide what you're looking for and more. Only downsides are the learning curves ((streams)' learning curve is not exactly shall, Hubzilla's is steeper), UIs that don't look like they were made in 2024 from venture capital and a total lack of native mobile apps (you can install both as PWAs, though).

[–] breadcat@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 weeks ago

friendica, diaspora, and hubzilla all have groups/circles/aspects/whatever you wanna call it for post sharing privacy and are solid feature rich platforms in general

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

I use it for fam and friends, special interest groups, and local events. It’s still a useful platform if you curate it well. It just takes effort. And Firefox plugins.

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