this post was submitted on 03 Jan 2024
931 points (93.8% liked)

Programmer Humor

32559 readers
598 users here now

Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)

Rules:

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] EdibleFriend@lemmy.world 85 points 10 months ago (5 children)

What does it say about a person like me who reads all these damn memes even though I don't know jack shit about programming?

[–] GlitterInfection@lemmy.world 119 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[–] EdibleFriend@lemmy.world 69 points 10 months ago

When I saw this reply in my inbox I honestly had no idea which of my posts it was going to be related to because it could probably apply to most of them.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] insomniac_lemon@kbin.social 24 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (6 children)

I'm like that because:

  • I need a hobby
  • weird history with programming, but never actually liked any programming language enough to have a real project.
  • now I found a niche language* that I like but so far it's just not where I want get started (one example, still no bindings for Godot 4)
  • Ray almost tricked me into making a framework for a framework but I saw right through that
  • personal issues

*=Nim

load more comments (6 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] devnull406@lemmy.world 74 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Ah yes, React - my favorite programming language

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 28 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Second only to the unsung hero that didn't make it to the image, CSS

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Socsa@sh.itjust.works 50 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

Anyone who says Matlab is their favorite programming language is very misguided

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Kecessa@sh.itjust.works 43 points 10 months ago (1 children)

"You are an engineer and a nerd"

We call them "enginerds", thank you very much.

[–] jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works 38 points 10 months ago (6 children)

My relationship with JavaScript is more like an abusive relationship that I can't escape from because it pays all the bills.

[–] theherk@lemmy.world 26 points 10 months ago (1 children)

It’s worth going hungry in the dark. Lawyer up and hit the gym. JS doesn’t deserve you.

[–] MajorHavoc@lemmy.world 15 points 10 months ago (1 children)

And a Python developer is born!

Source: I moved on from an abusive relationship with JavaScript to a healthy not-at-all-controlling equal partner relationship with Python. And four spaces makes perfect sense, once I really considered Python's point of view...

[–] theherk@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago (4 children)

You don’t have to go from crazy to slightly less crazy. You could try living that lean compiled life.

load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (5 replies)
[–] fer0n@lemmy.world 25 points 10 months ago (7 children)

Not all of these are programming languages btw

[–] racketlauncher831@lemmy.ml 62 points 10 months ago (2 children)

You're a nerd for knowing that.

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 15 points 10 months ago

You're a nerd for calling them out about it.

[–] fer0n@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago

I was basically begging for that comment ^^

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 22 points 10 months ago

What You're acc to your fav language

Parse error in /usr/lib/dict/en_all.h

[–] Muffi@programming.dev 21 points 10 months ago (2 children)

MATLAB is such a scam. Luckily a growing amount of universities are starting to realise it.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] backhdlp@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 10 months ago (3 children)

If you recognize them all, you're a double nerd

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] DeaDvey@lemmy.ml 19 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I am not a nerd, I am actually a gigachad. Selfie

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] enitoni@beehaw.org 17 points 10 months ago

Ah yes, React my favorite programming language.

[–] neidu2@feddit.nl 15 points 10 months ago (7 children)

Mine is "nobody cares about camels anymore"

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] Sweetpeaches69@lemmy.world 14 points 10 months ago (4 children)
[–] MajorHavoc@lemmy.world 25 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Have you ever been to PowerShell Summit? It's the only nerd conference I've ever attended where only about half the attendees actually realized they are nerds at a nerd conference. I love the vibe. It's got style and pizzazz.

That said, the added entry for PowerShell would still be: "You are a nerd."

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] clb92@feddit.dk 13 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Omg, it's scary how accurate this is!
I am a nerd!

[–] anarchist@lemmy.ml 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Elixir: Look of superiority

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] baseless_discourse@mander.xyz 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I don't have a favorite language, I just hate haskell less than all the other languages I have tried.

[–] platypus_plumba@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Do you get a heart attack every time you need to write to a database, effectively causing a side-effect? Only real Haskell developers do.

[–] baseless_discourse@mander.xyz 15 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Dude, I have a heart attack when I lift a finger, causing a side effect to the keyboard.

In fact, I have a heart attack whenever my heart starts beating, causing a side effect in my veins.

[–] platypus_plumba@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 12 points 10 months ago

Why are we all accumulators?

[–] ohlaph@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] MeatsOfRage@sh.itjust.works 25 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I can help with that one

"You are a nerd"

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] TheFriendlyArtificer@beehaw.org 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

PHP: You're not a nerd. But you are at least trying.

[–] First@programming.dev 10 points 10 months ago

PHP: You were a nerd, now you're just outdated (and/or a WordPress developer).

[–] mathemachristian@hexbear.net 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] Urist@lemmy.ml 8 points 10 months ago (4 children)

OP does not know math people are cooler than engineers and physicists.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] Aceticon@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago

It seems to me some of those should be "you're a masochist and a nerd" when they're somebody's favorite language.

[–] MajorHavoc@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago

Well shit. It's got me dead to rights on a couple of these.

[–] PoolloverNathan@programming.dev 7 points 10 months ago (4 children)

I don't see Haskell on there!

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] abclop99@beehaw.org 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] SomeoneElse@lemmy.ca 7 points 10 months ago

Look, I was forced to learn R (very badly) for my PhD (which I didn’t complete). So technically I’m not a nerd (it’s sadder than that). Yay!!

load more comments
view more: next ›