this post was submitted on 19 Dec 2024
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[–] PopcornPrincess@lemmy.world 17 points 3 days ago (1 children)

You’re grounded! Go to your womb!

[–] palordrolap@fedia.io 1 points 2 days ago

Dude's already there. What's he supposed to do, crawl back up the oviduct?

(... Oof. I don't even have those and I'm having sympathy pains for it.)

[–] Rozz@lemmy.sdf.org 16 points 3 days ago

The mom is an accomplice and getaway driver

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 3 days ago

Guy who owns the glove store

"Man business has been good this week!"

[–] Darkard@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago

The press are calling him "The Umbilical Bandit"

[–] samus12345@lemm.ee 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I mean, gloves work, too...

[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

But think of every finger you need to get into the gloves. Pushing a whole Mona Lisa painting in the uterus seems to be the lesser inconvenience.

[–] MajorHavoc@programming.dev 2 points 3 days ago

Later, baby's first words were: "Look, ma! I want to cut you in on the take, but you gotta help me be sure you won't squeal when the feds come around."