this post was submitted on 21 Dec 2023

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Pizza delivery (lemmy.world)

submitted 11 months ago by themaninblack@lemmy.world to c/memes@lemmy.ml

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[–] cerement@slrpnk.net 121 points 11 months ago (3 children)

kevlar body armor was developed by a pizza delivery guy

[–] c0mbatbag3l@lemmy.world 30 points 11 months ago

Well yeah, but he was also an ex marine lol

Though he did get the idea after successfully defending himself in an armed robbery attempt while delivering pizza.

[–] not_that_guy05@lemmy.world 21 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Yes it was

[–] ZoopZeZoop@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Indeed

[–] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Have you heard of the High Elves?

[–] Aurenkin@aussie.zone 2 points 11 months ago

I saw a mud crab the other day, horrible creatures

[–] KreekyBonez@lemm.ee 6 points 11 months ago

well now, how about that

[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 95 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It's also really, really easy to lose your job as a pizza delivery person.

[+] cryptosporidium140@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (6 children)

[deleted]

[–] Transporter_Room_3@startrek.website 75 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Turnover is already high due to shitty work conditions and low pay, but most franchises will also look for reasons to fire so they can keep wages low.

A few minutes later than the customer wants but still within reasonable time? Oooh sorry they called to complain so we have to give you a strike.

Customer doesn't want to pay? Tough shit, you shouldn't have given them the pizza without getting paid and that's two strikes.

You were 30 seconds late according to the managers watch which is 3 minutes fast as proven by everyone's cellphones and the wall clock? Too bad, fired.

And I'm not exaggerating. I'm just giving a real-world example.

[–] AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 18 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Including the manager's watch one?

[–] Transporter_Room_3@startrek.website 26 points 11 months ago

Especially that one. Seriously.

Ultimately I was just done and had already been looking for another job, so I just went ahead and dropped the shit on the floor and spent the rest of the day chilling at the park. I even had witnesses to the insane bullshit.

[–] MrVilliam@lemmy.world 32 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It's not so much about how pizza delivery drivers get easily fired. It's more about how cops get away with literal murder. If a pizza dude killed somebody who called for them, they wouldn't have a union and PR team fighting for them and showing that the murder victim was maybe kinda asking for it because they ordered pineapple on their pizza. That's a metaphor for a light criminal record, yes.

[–] GreyEyedGhost@lemmy.ca 9 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I propose that pineapple on pizza is the equivalent of personal quantities of pot possession in the legal world. Sure, a lot of people who claim to have never done it sure spend a lot of time talking about how terrible it is on a personal and societal level, but the ones who are actually using it just shrug their shoulders and say "more for me."

[–] cerement@slrpnk.net 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

blue cheese, pineapple, and pepperoni

[–] aphlamingphoenix@lemm.ee 3 points 11 months ago

Pepperoni, pineapple, and jalapeno.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

but the ones who are actually using it just shrug their shoulders and say “more for me.”

Not more for me. And I have tried it. No thank you. You can have my slices.

[–] cerement@slrpnk.net 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

pizza delivery guys don’t get qualified immunity

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

Fun fact: qualified immunity is illegal according to the law as passed by Congress. The 1982 SCOTUS unintentionally legislated from the bench in Harlow V Fitzgerald

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/05/15/us/politics/qualified-immunity-supreme-court.html

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago

"here is 6 months access to my onlyfans"

[–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 5 points 11 months ago

Only if you have an order with extra meat. The same problem goes for plumbers.

[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

Know a guy whose friend murdered.a guy and didn't get paid leave or nothing. Straight up fired.

[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 61 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Not to mention the risk of being frozen for a thousand years.

[–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 35 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I. C. Weiner?

[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 27 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Here's to another lousy millennium.

[–] shani66@lemmy.comfysnug.space 5 points 11 months ago

Fuck if he wasn't right too

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 17 points 11 months ago

Crud.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 56 points 11 months ago

Pizza delivery people have to get out of their car in any weather. Cops only have to get out of their car if they feel like it. Also, cops don't have to buy their own gas.

[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 50 points 11 months ago (1 children)

And it really does contribute to society

[–] MrVilliam@lemmy.world 41 points 11 months ago (1 children)

A pizza can feed a family of four. A cop could feed his family of four if his wife and kids hadn't left him for the domestic abuse reported amongst 40%* of all American cops.

40% is the self-reported figure. Unreported instances presumably would make the actual number much higher.

[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 26 points 11 months ago

Eat a pizza and you're fed for a day. Be shot by a cop and you will never be hungry again

[–] doingless@lemmy.world 50 points 11 months ago

I feel like "The thin crust line" would work better than "The thin bread crust".

[–] grayman@lemmy.world 26 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I was robbed a lot when I delivered pizza.

[–] SuckMyWang@lemmy.world 15 points 11 months ago (1 children)

May be you should have tried not getting robbed?

[–] MrBusiness@lemmy.zip 10 points 11 months ago

[–] Son_of_dad@lemmy.world 24 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Tip your building superintendent this Christmas, they're actually on the top 10 list of dangerous jobs in North America, like 10 spots above cops. I've done the job and it's high risk of ergonomic injury, as well as accidents, and working alone makes it even more hazardous. You can get sick from the job, get crushed by garbage bins, electrocuted, poisoned, gased, burned, fall off a ladder or worse, and it's low pay.

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Superintendent? Don't you mean janitor? Custodian?

[–] Son_of_dad@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

Custodian more like it, janitors just clean up. Many people call them building supers

[–] Chakravanti@sh.itjust.works 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

And soon to be you will find them employed by the Mafia betting their own whole life upon the success of a 30 minute delivery.

And don't touch the Snow Crash.

[–] foyrkopp@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago (6 children)

Except at that point the Mafia are somehow supposedly the good guys?

[–] skulblaka@kbin.social 1 points 11 months ago

Uncle Enzo isn't going to let you down unless you let him down first.

[–] cerement@slrpnk.net 1 points 11 months ago

kinda hard to be worse than the police …

[–] Axiochus@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago

The best franchise!

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[–] CowsLookLikeMaps@sh.itjust.works 4 points 11 months ago

🫡

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