Do these guys ever cease to be assholes?
this post was submitted on 05 Oct 2024
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Moo Dang is pretty cute.
More like Poo Dang
Oh snap!
Moo deng probably gonna grow up and murder several people
Pygmy hippo, not as big
So Moo Dang just goes for the little ones?
Better keep it from any Death Stars to be safe.
True, but I still want to see the poop numbers just to be sure.
I think they serve an important ecological function of pushing down marsh grass to better the flow of water. Or something like that.
Well, lawyers also serve a useful purpose...
If I got my division order right, that’s about 5 lbs of shit per hippo per day (19841 % 4000). That’s probably a lot more than I shit each day.
"probably"
Depends how strong the espresso was. 😅
Oh. I now realise I completely missed the "4000 hippos" part, but it didn't feel strange to me because I'm so used to reading about dinosaurs.
Underwater chem trails
Now compare that to factory farms and their manure run off.
Roughly 2.57632e9 lbs per day according to this report.
U.S. factory farms are raising more animals than ever before. Together, the 1.7 billion confined animals produce an appalling 941 billion pounds of manure each year — double the weight in human sewage produced by the entire U.S. population.
And much worse managed I bet
But I bet their poop is great for growing the grasses they eat. It’s probably also really good for tourists, who it seems to attract and that they also eat.
Hippos are herbivores. They only kill tourists for fun.
That’s ridiculous and was clearly shown to be false by my joke.
Obviously, hippos evolved so their poop was irresistible to tourists. This is something my joke mentions to explain why hippos are always attacking tourists.
It's important for their mental enrichment.
You joke, but some animals are psychopaths. I remember a news years ago of a seal raping a penguin.
/r/JustLikeUs
Truly the most dangerous species on earth! 🌎
You’re forgetting humans.
Naw, I just knew that someone else would bring it up to fill in the gap:-).
In that case I kinda gotta mention mosquitoes too, just to get the full trifecta
I would argue it's the microorganisms that they carry in that case... but let's just wipe them all out and worry about that later to never instead - bc dayum they annoying:-).
The one and only animal I’d be okay with us driving extinct, but they’re doing great and we’re losing the rhinos 😭
There are several studies that claim that mosquitos could be eliminated from the food chain without affecting their local ecosystems.
The problem is a lot of those studies sre 20+ years old, and there are far fewer insect species today than there were then. Mosquitos are more important as a food source than they used to be. Driving them extinct now would save human lives, but it might also cause ecological collapse.
That's not to say we shouldn't wipe them out if we can. But we need to be more cautious about how and where we kill all the bugs, because that might be the last of the bugs.
It too bad we can't give the mosquitos something like those rabies vaccine cookies so at least they wouldn't spread malaria/west nile/dengue fever and we wouldn't cause an eco collapse.
They'd be annoying still, but not deadly.
You're forgetting mosquitos.
I mean that’s one way to say your ex is toxic
Me exiting the Taco Bell bathroom: "Notice me senpai!"
Wait, that's just 2.25 kg of dung per hippo. That sounds like way too little. I'm pretty sure a human being could produce 2.25 kg of dung in a day with the right team spirit and some elbow grease, but you're telling me these dainty, bashful cowards can't do better despite weighing so much more? Pathetic.
I imagine they also poop on land
A guy on Reddit didn't take a shit for a month and a half and it finally came out weighting 9lbs, I don't think you can do 5lbs on the regular...
Interesting, my grandma once described giving birth as like pooping a bowling ball. That guy might actually somewhat understand the experience.
I just did the math and that's the equivalent to a little more that 3 and a half Chipotle burritos. I can't imagine trying to flush that down my toilet.
What a bunch of lazy assholes. They could just as easily walk up on land and poop there. Do they like to stew in their own feces?
AFAIK they purposefully poop in the water to hide there. So yes, they "like" it.
Which is why you need to keep your Hippo INDOORS
Big animals produce big shits
For a second I thought that 9 ton amount was for a single hippo and was shocked.
So we need to kill all the hippos?