this post was submitted on 27 Sep 2024
895 points (98.8% liked)

Programmer Humor

32558 readers
827 users here now

Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)

Rules:

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] OprahsedCreature@lemmy.ml 157 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I live in a constant state of fear and misery

And employers love keeping you in that state

[–] Soup@lemmy.world 60 points 1 month ago (1 children)

“Why are my employees not respecting me? Why are they unproductive?”

“Maybe treat them with a modicum of respect?”

“Must be something in the water.”

[–] OprahsedCreature@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 month ago

"No, no it's everyone else who's the problem, not me!"

[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.world 115 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Don't wait for a layoff, start organizing a union for that juicy 'represented' employment status (as opposed to at-will). Unions can't stop layoffs, but they can minimize the impact, negotiate a higher severance, and provide advanced notice. I highly recommend the good folks at CODE-CWA, they specialize in organizing tech workers

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 61 points 1 month ago (2 children)

My dad has been a server engineer for a single company for my entire life and he lived like this up until quite recently. His fear oscillates in magnitude with the success of the industry the company is a part of course so it isn't always severe but I remember every few years as a kid I'd hear him and my mother murmering about lay offs. These days he just jokes about it being an early retirement

[–] biggerbogboy@sh.itjust.works 38 points 1 month ago (2 children)

thank you for your input, sharkfucker420

[–] Iapar@feddit.org 16 points 1 month ago

Sharkfucker420 just knows what's up.

[–] mexicancartel@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 month ago

rimjobsteve?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] pHr34kY@lemmy.world 44 points 1 month ago (8 children)

My company has a 6 month probation period. It also has a 6 month password expiry. Because of all the SSO nonsense, it's quite possible for it to lapse without warning.

It's now a running joke that get locked out on the last day of probation, and you're expecting a call from HR any minute.

load more comments (8 replies)
[–] bruhbeans@lemmy.ml 37 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I got canned from my last job and thr way I found out was my work Gmail was locked out, fuckin class acts them.

Getting fired from my current gig would be a relief tbh.

[–] tee9000@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Im at a perfect equilibrium of indifference for being laid off. Some jobs suck.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] SGG@lemmy.world 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Upside: not fired.

Downside: have to do work.

Upside: make money

Downside: not enough money

[–] thesporkeffect@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

The frogurt is also cursed

[–] essteeyou@lemmy.world 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I haven't been laid off since April. I haven't had a job since then though, so that's not exactly ideal.

[–] snausagesinablanket@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

I got my best IT Job off of Craigs list so don't count out that option.

[–] coffee_with_cream@sh.itjust.works 20 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Just hit 5 months with no work. It's been tough

[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Just hit 5 months with 3 works. It's been tough.

Edit: not trying to mock your suffering comrade. The point was that no matter what happens while we live a capitalist way of life, the working class will suffer.

[–] golden_zealot@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 month ago

I went one year and six months. It was bad. I'm wishing you the best.

[–] EnderMB@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Out of interest, what do you do and where are you based? It's a shitty place to work, but if you're near an Amazon office and you do Amazony things I'm happy to send a reference your way.

[–] BaumGeist@lemmy.ml 20 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I live in a constant state of fear and misery

Do ya miss me anymore?

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] bleistift2@sopuli.xyz 19 points 1 month ago

I work in IT. We get notified when people leave.

The cruelest thing in my company is when we get to know before the person in question…

[–] Hyphlosion@donphan.social 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

While WFH is amazing, your colleagues just going poof and never knowing what happened to them is a big downside.

[–] brlemworld@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

The randomly fired 2 people on my team one morning. I think we're doing the evil shit Amazon does with stack ranking. It's so toxic. Fuck this place, you only get the bare minimum now. Anyone know of any software engineering unions?

[–] OprahsedCreature@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 month ago

I think someone mentioned CWA (Communication Workers of America) in another thread? Assuming you're American which on Lemmy is statistically likely.

[–] absentbird@lemm.ee 14 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Anyone else see the back of the chair as the person's hair in the first two panels?

[–] usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Yes, it wasn't until the last panel did I notice the arms of the chair and suddenly the person was bald

[–] Cargon@lemmy.ml 13 points 1 month ago

Could still be hair!

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] HexesofVexes@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You just captured the daily life of a UK academic after the catastrophically low recruitment numbers this year.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] KrankyKong@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

I know the feeling. A few months ago I randomly got a video call from my boss. Both he and the owner of the company were in the line. They let me know that they unfortunately had to let go of almost everyone on the dev team. Some funding had fell through (gotta love startups). Fortunately, I got to keep my job that day, but I can't shake the feeling that another layoff is right around the corner.

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 month ago (8 children)

Don't let that fear cow you into accepting marginal raises or career stagnation (assuming you're not happy at your current level). Severance (outside the US) is usually generous enough to skate into your next opportunity and, tbh, working in constant fear is fucking awful for your mental health.

load more comments (8 replies)
[–] ch00f@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

At my last job, every time they added or removed someone’s key card access, the system would reboot and everyone would be locked out for like two minutes.

We also had two floors that were connected by a fire stairwell, so you needed a card to re-enter the next floor.

At least twice my card stopped working in the middle of the word day while I was standing in the stairwell and I assumed that they just fired me and assumed I’d see my own way out.

Survived three layoffs at that company.

[–] snausagesinablanket@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

Way too stressful. I worked at a company that was bought by a hedge fund and they were always downsizing, even if it was key employees. It made me under perform and caused insomnia that I never quite got over and it was 11 years ago.

[–] OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I don't even notice when it hurts anymore.

Anymore.

Anymore.

Anymore.

[–] BaumGeist@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 month ago
[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Perhaps the head of the corporation that abuses you should be the one that lives in fear.

[–] Anderenortsfalsch@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Why this expression? This guy just needs to spent a year homeless on the beach or so, if being fired: https://www.businessinsider.com/chris-deering-playstation-sony-laid-off-staff-beach-uber-2024-9 It definitely isn't greed on side of the CEO who earns millions for nothing while so many get fired, right? RIGHT?

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] JATtho@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

I do this exact same expression when I'm forced to gain knowledge of something potentially personally catastrophic...

[–] A_Very_Big_Fan@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Me, turning on my PC every day after my main PC was bricked while rebooting for a Win10 update...

I’m in this picture and I don’t like it

[–] HubertManne@moist.catsweat.com 4 points 1 month ago

ouch. this hits to close.

load more comments
view more: next ›