Asklemmy

43941 readers

551 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
!lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

advice needed for a friend in danger (lemmy.ml)

submitted 11 months ago by jackpot@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

17 comments fedilink hide all child comments

tw: rape, abuse, etc.

18+

hey all, my friend lives in india and is in serious danger. a family member rapes them and has explicit imagery of them which they hold over their head if they ever speak out. no one in their family would believe them, the police dont care where tjeyre from, and the rapist is a wealthy violent criminal. i know it's distressing but what advice / help can you think of? im keeping them anonymous for obvious reasons. her life is ruined by this, it's been going on for years. she has given me permission to post this

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] Curious_Canid@lemmy.ca 6 points 11 months ago (2 children)

First, get them out of the situation. If they don't have somewhere to go that the abuser doesn't know about, see if you have a local women's shelter. Leaving the area entirely, at least temporarily, may be a good option.

Second, help them take action about the abuse. Contact the police or find a lawyer to help with the process. There are lawyers who will work cases like this without charging. There may also be local government agencies that are specifically tasked with investigating abuse.

Third, get them to seek help in recovering. There are likely to be local organizations that provide counseling and other resources. This is not going to be a short or easy process, but working at it will make a world of difference over the rest of their life.

I've been through this with more than one friend. Every bit of it is tough. Having your support will make a big difference. Abusers try to make their victims feel powerless and alone. Having a friend who will help works against that, as well as providing comfort.

I wish you both all the best!

[–] LanternEverywhere@kbin.social 16 points 11 months ago (1 children)

This would be good advice for general cases, but it seems like you didn't read the details of their post. In her situation your advice could be extremely dangerous to her.

[–] Curious_Canid@lemmy.ca 4 points 11 months ago

You may well be right. I do not have enough familiarity with the situation in India.

I think the principles still apply, but how to carry them out might well be very different.

Thank you for your comment.

[–] sour@kbin.social 1 points 11 months ago

what do you do about explicit imagery