this post was submitted on 04 Nov 2025
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My girlfriend's sister has a horse and I refuse to go near it. It's a two ton object being operated by a pea of a brain, he once got into a panic because his friend was behind him and he couldn't see him, so he ran around the field madly until he collided with a stationary tree. Oh and he's scared of blue wheelbarrows, just blue ones, wheelbarrows of any other colour or apparently acceptable.
He has already stood on her foot once.
Horses are fucking creepy.
Right? They walk around on single fingers and are born with weird tentacles over their hooves
If you try to draw a horse based only on its skeleton you would come up with some cthulhu monster.
[Edit]
Sorry, that was an arrogant way of phrasing it.
~~What the hell kind of breed is two tons? The heaviest ones I know get up to about one ton, but those are big, heavy working horses, not the average riding horse.~~
Most horses won't be even a single ton. There are a few breeds of working horses that do get up to a ton, but most regular riding horses are a half ton, on average.
[End of Edit]
Our icelandic horse has also stood on my foot once, but she's only about 300kg (600lbs) and didn't put much of it on that foot before I shooed her off.
Also, she's super calm about damn near everything.
First encounter with a motorised shear? Eyes wide open for a few seconds, then she's already out of fucks to give.
Shenanigans trying to craft a costume for her result in a piece of cloth suddenly covering her eyes? Eh, my humans will know what they're doing. Actually, can I eat that? Nope, apparently not. Lame.
The worst she'll do when something actually does scare her is stand up straight, refuse to move closer and rarely attempt to put a little more distance. She might unexpectedly sidestep a weird object on the roadside, but not so rapidly as to dismount my wife, and she's never run away in a panic that I know of.
And if you scratch her right, she basically melts. Scratch her ears, she'll relax her lower lip like she's losing control of her face muscles. Scratch her butt, she'll lean into it. Back away, she'll follow. It's the only case I've ever seen of a horse happily walking backwards.
Consider yourself lucky. We were digging the ground with shovels near a horse park where they had a competition. A river separates the two areas.
They asked us to stop because the horses were freaking out.
Just by asking what breed such a horse could possibly be, you've exemplified more horse related knowledge than most people possess. Two tons is pretty obviously a guess by someone that doesn't know a lot about horses or other animals of similar size.
Not much different to how most people would be wrong when estimating the weight of a building, the volume of the ocean, or the quantity of trees on the planet. If it's something unfamiliar to you, you can't be expected to be accurate.
You know what, you're right. I didn't consider the perspective of people less familiar with the topic. I don't consider myself particularly knowledgeable, but that doesn't mean my knowledge is fundamental or ubiquitous.
Kudos to you. Too few are capable of this type of reflection.
When you know a bit about something, it's always an easy thing to mistakenly presume others to know what seems like the most baseline of information about the subject matter.
As it is for horses, only three breeds came to my mind. Clydesdale, carousel, and of course this genuine two ton beauty.
It's a common human blind spot. I see no reason to get defensive about it. Better to admit it and improve than double down on a pointless battle with nothing to win.
I know of a lot of things that I don't know a lot about, which makes what knowledge I do have seem paltry by comparison. Exchanges like this are a handy reality check. Ideally, we can all walk away smarter for it.
Shire Horses, Brabanter (a Belgian breed, but I don't know the English name) are the ones that I can think of, but I know there's also some French breed up there. Don't think any of them can hide a crew of crafty Greeks in their belly though. "Why is this taxidermied horse's belly still moving?"
Maybe they include elephants in the "horse" category?