this post was submitted on 28 Oct 2025
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[–] Catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zone 89 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Tired: resume

Wired: salary-walled resume

[–] MonkeMischief@lemmy.today 16 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

"OOPS!

Looks like you want a real go-getter who takes initiative in a fast paced working environment!

These added value premium features and advanced pro-company behaviors require a salary boost! Increase my salary for instant access."

(Tier 1)$ "Practically Already Quiet Quitting " Basic Value Employee

  • Loves to discuss unions.

(Tier 2) $$$ "Really Need This Job" Moderately effective employee (Most Popular!)

  • Shows up, does the work.

(Tier 3)$$$$$ "Happy To Be Here!"

  • Ludicrously overpaid but...
  • ...Saves on hiring a replacement in 6 months.
  • "Going places." Maybe not to your competition!
  • "Less likely to curse your name and air your dirty laundry under the cover of various pseudonyms in online discussions and AMAs!"
[–] Cold_Brew_Enema@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Thanks for making me laugh