this post was submitted on 21 Oct 2025
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That's really sad. I wish I could show them how to get out even though that's exactly what the manosphere grifters prey on
When I was very active there I would frequently "adopt" incels if I looked through their post history and saw something worth saving. I engaged with them in a non-judgemental way, listened to them whinge and rant about how awful the world was to them, then started asking them a lot of questions and started introducing new ideas and perspectives to them that way. I often had to be a bit of "chad asshole" to them at first to earn their respect.
I grew up around wolves and other wild animals, they really do respond similarly.
I had a pretty high success rate too, the ones that didn't crash and burn tended to go on to just send me updates about their lives regularly until they suddenly found a new calling or got a girlfriend. At least one thanked me for "saving his life" which felt good to hear.
It's tiring and exhausting and I can only imagine how hard that kind of project is for people who aren't social or don't have a lot of emotional intelligence, but I feel strongly if more people at least tried, it would make a dent in this atrocious problem we have with young men.