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has anyone had a gamer partner or been that gamer partner? what helped the relationship despite being a gamer? (thelemmy.club)

submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by nonBInary@thelemmy.club to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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(i'm asking a discussion question for more advice +update ig)

my girlfriend ivy is a gamer. she plays video games "with the boys" (her guy friends) for hours non-stop and doesn't do much else. her whole life is dedicated to video games. she is passionate about them and they are her main interest.

lately we've been having a problem of her not wanting to go out with me or spend time one-on-one because she wants to play games with the lads.

by the time i was able to ask her if she wanted to go somewhere, she was already in a game and didn't want to pause it. then, i asked her when she finally stopped hours later to take a break.

her response was "nah, i don't really like that place. but you can go if you want and you can watch me play games when you're done".

i enjoy her company and she still talks to me when we play video games but i wanna do other things other than just playing/watching video games.

she, however, doesn't really get it and doesn't wanna go out or do anything else. i guess i will just suck it up because she still talks to me?? please don't criticize me for this and be civil. i just wanna hear what you did in a gamer relationship.

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[–] Tenderizer78@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 weeks ago

I've never dated before, but I don't think "going somewhere" is essential in a relationship. Sure it's one of the standard milestones but it being standard doesn't mean it's mandatory.

However, your concern that she seems to be putting her gaming ahead of your relationship is legitimate. You should talk to her about those concerns, being sure to communicate your feelings clearly without bringing any bottled up emotions to the conversation. Maybe you can find a compromise that works, maybe she has a gaming addiction and needs support, maybe the relationship won't work out, as an internet person I can't really know the outcome.