this post was submitted on 12 Oct 2025
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Privacy

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Over the past few years I have gone through a bunch of different apps and protocols to find the best one for "securely" communicating with my family and friends.

I ended up with the amazing XMPP protocol and my family/friends frequently use its clients to contact me.

Monal for IOS and Cheogram/Conversations/Quicksy for Android. The android app I install depends on if I can get F-Droid on their phone or not.

It's been great with OMEMO encryption and the clients/apps available for XMPP. But sometimes I have issues introducing people to it.

Jabber (friendly name for xmpp) sounds silly to say. The clients all have weird names. And after trying the Signal mobile app it feels more focused than what anyone in the XMPP community has whipped up.

But the capabilities of XMPP makes it better.

Signal Cons (immediete)

  • Centralized
  • Single app
  • Phone numbers

XMPP/Jabber Cons

  • Picking server
  • Apps are sort of less friendly

What really scares me about Signal is the centralization. Any nerd can easily host an XMPP server these days. But Signal from what I've heard really wants us to use their server.

If XMPP gets more attention I'm sure we can get people supporting projects and creating better apps.

I keep seeing people recommended Signal instead.

This is a bit of a tired ramble. What I wanna know is why anyone is preferring Signal over XMPP apps. I assume it might be not knowing about it. Tell me what you use to message people.

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[–] JoeBidet@lemmy.ml 3 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

speaking of "normies" is elitist, because the term is used usually people privileged/experienced with knowledge about technology to describe people who don't have this privilege/experience. It is implying that there would be a class of (sub-)humans who are not capable of taking the same path as the person who employs this term. I stand by the term "elitist". In a world of diverse people, life-paths and needs, in my own experience everybody is capable of understanding the political reasons to use a piece of software over another one (because one company sucks, because their model of centralization is detrimental to freedom, because they got shady funding, because they pretend to be something else but bar free software authors to modify their software, because they're from the USA, etc.). Everyone has their own way of understanding these things. Everyone has some arguments that will resonate better than others. Pretty much the same way you probably decided to not install Facebook messenger. Well the good news is: everybody is capable of understanding these things. It may take time and effort, it may make elitist people realize it is not as easy as they first thought it would be, and require to fail and try again. It requires efforts and a humble approach as to listen to these people and take them where they are and walk a bit along the way with them.

My personal experience is that most people are capable of understanding such things. It may take time, but everyone is capable.

I also saw tons of elitist tech-enthusiasts and other tech-savvies "bros" not even addressing who they call "normies" out of pure lazyness, to avoid to speak outside of their own comfort zone and question their own status, and to avoid sharing their elitist knowledge.

-> "'normies' won't do that" = "i am too lazy to engage meaningfully with people who do not know the same things as i know."

That's a major part of the problem. Elitist feedback loop...

[–] BaldManGoomba@lemmy.world 0 points 4 hours ago

Normies isn't an elitist term it is a counter culture term for people outside the norm to refer to the general opinion. It is the not like us statement or the fact that there is experience that one would not understand fully unless they are in a subset group.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Normie_(slang)

was first used in its original meaning of "ordinary, normal" in English in the 1950s.[6] According to Merriam-Webster, the term "normie" appeared in the late 1980s in the United States. It was used ironically by people with disabilities in reference to the rest of the population.[2] In the late 1990s, the term was used in Alcoholics Anonymous literature to refer to individuals who were not addicted to any substances.[7]

Since the early 2000s it has been spreading on the Internet.[2][4] In the Russian-language sphere, popularization was promoted by the use of the imageboard Dvach, whose users consider themselves representatives of informal culture, which is expressed in controversial publications, non-standard political views, black humor, involvement in various subcultures.[8]

[–] pathief@lemmy.world 2 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

First of all normie not an insult or a derogatory term. The term "normies" is often used in many niche communities to refer to someone outside the community. It has nothing to do with being smart, privileged or experienced. It means more like "the average user" or "the typical person". Example: a person in the boardgaming community may refer to you as a normie, not because you're dumb but because you don't play hobby boardgames (check out Brass: Birmingham, what a game).

The problem isn't about comprehending the problem, most people understand that Facebook is selling their data. They just don't care. They would rather have their data sold than to have the trouble to move to yet another communication app. WhatsApp is working just fine, Facebook is sparking joy. They don't care.

"Normies won't do X" is a perfectly acceptable way to express that the hurdles are too high for the average user. The average user wants a sleek UI, a user friendly experience and most of all they want to be in the place everyone is already at. The average Joe doesn't want to be the first guy on Simple X, they actually really want the hassle free platform everyone is already at.

Also, the next great communication app is constantly changing. It used to be IRC, ICQ, MSN Messenger, Facebook Messenger, WhatsApp, Instagram, Telegram, Signal, Matrix, Simple X, Session. I'm sorry to say that the average person is not willing to migrate that often. Facebook works, their friends are already there, they stick to it. This isn't elitism, it's just stating what I see.