The Onion

(Washington DC) As the Nobel Committee announces this year’s Nobel Prize winners, much attention is going to the desires - some would say expectations - of republicans for donald trump to win the prize. However, rumors coming from the White House suggest they have a plan in case the president does not win.

Sources not permitted to speak on the record have revealed that a new “US Peace Prize” will be unveiled in November, which in their words, will surpass the Nobel in every way. Multiple sources confirm the prize will be triple the roughly one million amount given with a Nobel, although other accolades differ between sources. Some noted awards include free entry into all trump-branded clubs and facilities, the ability to claim a national park as vacation property, and “a long row of cheerleaders chanting your name as you go up to receive the award.” Sources indicate that the president is very excited for the naming of the first recipient of the prize.

Sources are concerned, however, for the aide that quipped “why would Obama want to go to a trump golf club” when the prizes were discussed. He has not been seen since.