Asklemmy

50655 readers

580 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
!lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 6 years ago

MODERATORS

should I apologize to this friendly manager I had an argument with? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 1 day ago by ricesoup@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

17 comments fedilink hide all child comments

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ml/post/36766269

I know lemmy is titled to the left, so most probable answer is going to be no, managers are our enemy, but hear me out.

I always thought like this: I'm there to work and earn money, not to make friends, not to fake a friendship with any manager. If they fire me, no manager is going to ask me how I'm holding up or what my plans for the future are. What may look like a friendship is all fake.

There is, however, a manager where I work at that everybody agrees she is friendly and goes the extra mile to help employees. When I say everybody I mean that literally, none of the coworkers I asked said anything remotely bad about this person. At my company there are other managers everybody agrees are narcissistic morons and everyone hates them.

I had an argument with this manager everyone likes and after thinking about it, it was mostly my fault we raised our voices. She raised her voice first but because I wasn't listening to her because she triggered me.

I feel bad about it and I can't believe I'm writing this, but I'd like to have a private conversation with her to apologize and explain why she triggered me. She also does typical things any manager does that I find very unfair that I want to explain so she maybe stops it.

Is being honest and having such a conversation a stupid idea?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] antithetical@lemmy.deedium.nl 12 points 11 hours ago

Admitting you were wrong in a situation (or opinion) is a very mature and strong skill to have. It also makes communication and relations much more honest. A lot of people never learn this.

So, if you know you were wrong. Sincerely apologize. Then stop! No complaining, no blaming. And especially no bitching about being triggered. Being triggered is on you, not her.

If the conversation is going well enough you might be able to explain yourself a bit for mutual understanding. But for now it is on you to make up for the breakdown in communication. You don't have to be her friend, but you are both adults and need to work together in at least a professional courtesy. Save any feedback for a later conversation and try to keep emotions out of it.

Good luck!