this post was submitted on 27 Sep 2025
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The longer I dwell in this cursed existence the more clear it becomes that consciousness is no gift. Conscious minds are slaves to meat. Our bodies make our minds, then demand endless servitude through constant screams of pain, hunger, heat, cold, pleasure, fatigue, itch, and on and on and on. We exist only so long as we serve, and if we serve poorly they make us suffer.
Fibromyalgia sufferer here. People have seriously said 'god made you like this for a reason' and I've never wanted to punch someone's face more.
I don't remember what painlessness feels like anymore. Sometimes I look at look at the ends of my hair because it doesn't have nerve endings, and that is the best reference for a body part that doesn't experience pain.
Survival is a powerful thing.
Half glass full or half glass empty. I appreciate being alive and having consciousness, but that does not mean I have had no bouts of loneliness and existential doubt at times. Although, I suppose what made me half glass full kind of person is that I have anendophasia and experienced near death. The latter is kinda eye opening. I didn't see an afterlife or anything-- it was just plain bliss-- more comfortable than sleeping. I realised that if there is nothing after death, then that means this is the only life we'll ever have and experience, and we must appreciate it and live it to the fullest. There is a point with the advice to live as if there is no tomorrow. It's easier said than done, but try to enjoy life while you are still able to experience it. Even the seemingly inconsequential little moments turn out to bring some joy and contentment when you look back at those.
On the other hand: ice cream.
Werner Herzog voiceover: "But even that became unreliable. High-sugar to compensate for lowered fat content and the choice between mediocre flavor or high cost. What was once a tasty treat is now another reminder of our modern predicament. It may even contain sodium benzoate (that's bad)."
Ice cream with bacon!
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream.
Lighten up, Schopenhauer.
Vacation?