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If you found someone attractive, would you date them if you found out they were trans?
(lemmy.blahaj.zone)
this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2025
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If I found someone attractive, yes of course. I don’t care if you’re straight, gay, bi, trans, whatever - I’m not attracted to sex or the bits between your legs, I’m attracted to person and personality. As long as you’re confident and comfortable being you, I’ll swing anyway you want.
But due to the world we live in, lot of the time the struggle of being them so very much in their identity that they can’t talk about much else and I don’t find that very attractive, in fact quite the opposite.
I would say only a minority of us are like that, and usually it's more intense early in transition.
tbh a lot (if not most) trans people just adapt to living as their gender and are fairly "normal" at that point.
When they can, most seem to leave the community, stop identifying as trans, and just integrate fully into cis society. This is part of why it's hard to find trans elders online, "trans community" both in person and online seems to be mostly for people who are visibly non-conforming or who are early in transition.
So the visibly trans people are usually early transitioners, people who struggle with passing (whether intentional or not), and the loud, proud activist types. This can skew the perception of what trans people are like generally.
Yes, I think you're correct. The noise/signal ratio tends to be bad in online communities and especially in social media (as with any other topic). I've met some lovely (and attractive!) trans people in work life. Never dated one though, as I've been "off the market" for years now, but I don't find the idea any stranger than dating anyone else. If there's a mutual connection, then that's all I need. The rest will sort itself out and this, as you rightfully point out, has become stronger and clearer the older I've become.