52
If you found someone attractive, would you date them if you found out they were trans?
(lemmy.blahaj.zone)
this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2025
52 points (83.3% liked)
Asklemmy
50619 readers
208 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy ๐
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 6 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
that makes sense!
What do you think it is about learning someone is trans that breaks the attraction for you?
Good question. I think what it comes down to is that the idea of someone being trans is just kind of foreign to me. I never met someone in person who was trans until I was close to 40, as far as I know. So for most of my life I categorized people, at least as far as attractiveness and dating goes, without distinguishing between sex at birth and gender identity.
So while I treat (or hope that I treat) trans people as appropriate for their chosen gender, it doesn't come completely naturally to me. It's hard for me not to think of a trans woman as "a man who wants to be treated as a woman", even though I know that's not what they want. And while in day to day interactions I can just ignore that difficulty and treat a trans woman as a woman, when it comes to romantic interest it is not so easily ignored.
Same. Similar, anyway. I've only knowingly met one trans woman who completely passed, who - if they were a Cis woman - not only would I have been with, but would've been completely out of my league.
But knowing they were Trans... yeah, I have hangups, in the same way I'd have hangups about the idea of being intimate with another man. I'm not completely against the idea, but I've got ingrained social prejudices it would take a fair bit of work to overcome.