this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2025
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Asklemmy

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[–] ImWaitingForRetcons@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Yes. Penis or vagina matters little to me.

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

interesting but not surprising to see the focus on gentials - after all the biggest problem (and for some, the biggest perk) has to do with the genital mismatch

It's hard because not all trans people fit a single "type" - some of us get support as children and avoid going through the wrong puberty and live pretty much as cis people (though that doesn't guarantee access to SRS).

I can't remember exactly so take this with a grain of salt, but over half of trans people want SRS but only around 12% actually have had SRS. So statistically it's probably true a given trans person is pre-op.

Anyway, for me dating a trans person comes with a lot more than just gential configuration, it involves their daily experiences of dysphoria, discrimination, the sensitivities about how they want to be touched or not touched, how their voice sounds, their mix of socialized gendered traits, etc.

[–] ImWaitingForRetcons@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Absolutely, there’s a lot more to it than just the genitals, but to be fair, everyone has a large number of differences from the mean- I’ve met bio women with very deep voices, with unflattering figures, who’ve experienced misogyny, etc.

Apart from the genitals, everything a trans person had that might differentiate them from a cis person can still be present in a cis person.

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 4 days ago

I tend to agree, many facets of trans experience are found in cis people. It is not acknowledged how much gender diversity exists in cis populations. Many victims of trans moral panic are cis, often cis women of color are the ones targeted in bathrooms for being mistaken as trans.

I guess with trans people there are some aspects like transition experience that won't exist in cis populations- but I love your point, thank you for that. 💞

[–] Truscape@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 4 days ago

"You gotta love the person, not what they're packin'."