chapotraphouse

Several years ago, my partner and I went walking around the neighborhood on the fourth of July. We passed by a big auto garage where it looked like a whole extended family had set up, with folding tables covered in boxes of fireworks, kids running around and adults hanging out with food and drinks. Mr Car Guy himself, clearly the patriarch of the bunch, invited us to hang out and blow stuff up with them, which we accepted. We grab a couple drinks and light off some mortars, and even some balloons full of some explosive gas that shook the ground a bit, which was cool. There was something about the adults, some vibe of clannish insularity we picked up on, that made it easier just to interact with the kids.

So after about an hour, I'm headed into the garage to grab another drink from the cooler, when i notice a small commotion around one of the cars. I should say, this garage clearly specialized in restoring vintage cars. There were a dozen of them, all freshly painted and gleaming with that candy coat. There were also American flags galore, and some poster i can't remember aside from the extreme "merica bullshit" vibe i got from it. Probably Stallone or something. So I'm in this vintage americana garage, and I notice a gathering of maybe 16 people around a bright red truck

So I go take a look, and sitting inside it is a young woman with tears streaking down her face. She's staring straight ahead, trying to ignore the presence of all her relatives. And what are they doing? They're mocking her. They're laughing and poking fun and jeering, and they're doing it in that particular way that tells me that these people know her, that kind of callous minimization that those who lack empathy often think of as "tough love". Anyone with conservative family will know what im talking about. Everyone surrounding the car is her age or older, mostly middle aged folks (including the garage owner/host) and they're acting like this is the funniest thing in the world, and she's crying and trying not to look at any of them as they joke and gossip three feet away. Absolute nightmare shit. We made our excuses and left quickly afterwards.

I wish I had known what to say, known some way to reach out and show her the kindness she clearly needed, but in the moment I was just so disturbed and taken off guard, and didnt know how to proceed past sixteen chortling ogres. I didn't understand how someone, a whole family, could make such a magnanimous show of inviting two passing strangers to share their food, only to whirl around and eat one of their own the instant they smelled blood. I understand only a little bit of the dynamic from my own upbringing by a conservative parent: vulnerability is weakness, and weakness is to be ridiculed and punished.