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do you consider joking about dying and killing oneself a sign that the person saying it is troubled? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 1 day ago by sarah2653@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

12 comments fedilink hide all child comments

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ml/post/35965987

this is a coworker.

to me a clear no, this person jokes about it and smiles. I can share her frustration with stupid job tasks, demanding clients, or having to get up too early, commute... I find her genuine and full of energy, I like working with her, she's sincere. I like that in people, she likes to help.

However, other 2 female colleagues have the opposite point of view: there is something that troubles her because she constantly jokes about death, killing herself due to some clients, waking up early...

We all agree she is so full of energy, my colleagues say she jokes about it constantly. I hear her joking about once or twice a day.

Am I being naive?

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[–] PenguinMage@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Never cracked a joke about it when my idiations were serious. Actually talking about it in any form is a coping mechanism for me. So no jokes are usually not a red flag in my book.

[–] GreyEyedGhost@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Similar for me. In the moment, talking about dying doesn't feel like a joke. After you've seen enough and come out the other side, death doesn't feel significant or threatening enough to have to worry about joking about. I feel like those who joke about killing themselves have either never felt like doing it or have confronted it and moved on.

And suicide jokes are probably best kept for groups where you know where people are. A lot of people mask being suicidal by joking around and putting a lot of work into being upbeat, often surprising those who only know them superficially when they commit suicide.

[–] PenguinMage@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

That was my usual. Always trying to claim things were good or I was doing great! Those are the ones I try to get a real talk with. But it's also just trying to get a connection truthfully. I know my times were worst when I felt alone (and I was not, I just couldn't find the way to talk to my friends). And such I joke as much as I can cause anytime someone says "that's dark" or "have some sympathy" I tell them my story and try to always be open about it.