this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2025
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I just lean into that part of my boomerism. No, for any SANE person reading this, I am not a member of the baby boomer generation, which is the original meaning of that word. I just happen to be older than 33, so to 77.8% of the current internet, I'm basically ancient.
Sometimes when people are experiencing loss or feeling emotionally fragile, what they really need is a whimsical story from a time in my personal history where everything was simply just better overall like in ancient history.
When I was growing up, we literally did not even have a computer to tell us what to think. We had a Britney Spears and colorful Asian ninjas to teach us right from wrong. Our phones didn't have "data" and we got charged ten cents a message to send somebody a text, so we used our words wisely, because they also put a limit on how many letters qualified as a text. None of these smiley faces and penis-looking vegetables bullshit either.
One time I got locked inside a tanning booth run inside the gas station in Westerville Plaza. I guess all the employees went home and it was so far out, I could not get signal on my Nokia. Ended up typing up a message and then I threw my damned phone out the door the instant I pressed send, somehow my best friend Malika got my message about an hour later the sheriffs showed up. I was burned to a crisp and smelled like a fried bologna sandwich but I survived thanks to the technology of the day. So really, we don't need all these Googles and YouTubes and Instagags. Just need sturdy phones that can take a lickin' and keep on tickin'. Which is how we should all live our lives.