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do you apologize, even if it's not your fault just to make the other person feel validated? (linux.community)

submitted 4 days ago by vestmoria@linux.community to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

23 comments fedilink hide all child comments

cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/3389091

or to keep the peace, maybe you think it's not a big deal but your partner, friend, coworker, parent feels otherwise.

Do you apologize just to validate him?

I always though if I don't feel bad about it, fuck it, I'm not apologizing, deal with it. It's not my fault you're so thin skinned. Grow up.

Now I'm thinking I should be more empathetic and apologize, just to make the aggravated person feel validated, even though I don't feel bad (or that bad).

This gets more complicated because many times coworkers feel offended because I don't share my personal life with them or I'm so concentrated on my job that I don't notice them. Do I apologize for not noticing them?

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[–] r0ertel@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I'm loving all the Canadians in this thread.

If you're a kind person, there's always something to apologize for. I was taught a long time ago that it was OK to apologize, but that you should add " for..." to the end and if it still sounds OK then you should say it.

"I'm sorry for hurting your feelings." "I'm sorry that you don't enjoy the meal that I prepared for the family." "I'm sorry your face looks like an anus." "I'm sorry that you're too stupid to understand that I'm not complimenting you." ...and so on. This took an unexpected turn.

PS: I'll apologize in most confrontations as a way to de-escalate the situation.

[–] crazyminner@lemmy.ml 2 points 3 days ago

Most of the time here its just a quick "Sorry" and maybe a head nod. Its not meant as a full blown apology, its more like a way to quickly communicate you're not a complete asshole.